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8 Bumps

Has this lifestyle choice become THIS culturally acceptable?

I'm talking about starting to have kids in your teens/very early 20's.
A coiple of things got me thinking. My cousin who's 25 and I were talking about how when she was 21,she ran into 2 girls she went to high school with. They asked her how many kids she had. She was dumbfounded and replied"umm,none??" One of the girls had 2 and was 6 months pregnant with #3,and the other had 1 and was about to give birth anyday.
Both girls had multiple dads for their kids.
Aging myself here,but 20 yrs ago when I was a teen,we didn't parade aroung a pregnancy like we were all proud. We figured the girl was stupid enough to not use protection.
My cousin said just about everyone she went to school with has more than 1 kid already.
So I'm trying to imagine myself a 20,21 yr old woman out in the dating scene. Obviously the guys out there are dads. I can't imagine finding out my date has kids,plural,already at 21!
When did the tide turn and it became ok to start having kids at 15,16 years old and have your parents financially responsible for them?
Are the sex ed classes failing our kids?
Is there a breakdown in the family dynamic? Or the society?
Are parents even WATCHING or monitoring their kids anymore?
What is going to happen to the welfare system when year after year more young people will require aid?

 
butterflyblue19

Asked by butterflyblue19 at 1:04 PM on Feb. 10, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Level 50 (383,297 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (59)
  • This is encouraged at every level of the society these young people encounter. The government that provides is the government that can control and that is exactly what has been sneaking up on parents and grandparents over the last two decades. Wake up and smell the coffee, people. Teach responsibility and self-reliance to your children and grandchildren...don't expect anyone else to make the effort. Vote conservative and force the government to spend precious tax dollars on retraining this neglected, under-educated generation while getting out of the way of businesses so they can provide the jobs to increase the tax base and provide the wherewith all to these poor short-changed teens and twenty-somethings..
    annabarred

    Answer by annabarred at 8:10 PM on Feb. 12, 2011

  • "but it is OK to celebrate the pregnancy of a 40 something year old woman who had to conceive vis in-vitro, and is now carrying a downs baby. *shakes head*"
    ---obbie dobie, i get that you may be offened by the question, but that's a very uneducated, shitty, mean-spirited thing to say.

    "what about the 40 year old women having babies with downs, and the financial burden on the country with those children?... isn't it equally negligent of the 40 year old mom's to reproduce since its proven over and over they're at greater risk for a downs baby, who also is assumed to be getting state medical health insurance as well as other benefits?"
    ---ba13ygrl1987, i'm surprised with your degree, that you can be that unedcated. Yes, the risk is greater, but the rest of the paragrah is assumptions. Again, uneducated, shitty and mean-spirited.

    You two should really be ashamed of yourselves for those comments. I'm ashamed for you.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:52 PM on Feb. 11, 2011

  • I somewhat agree with you and disagree with you. There are a lot of young single moms out there, some who actually wanted to get pregnant and some who got pregnant by mistake. either way that is crazy!! That is way to young to even be having sex. Im 23 and me and my fiance have been together for 2 yrs. We have been trying to concieve for almost a year now. That i do not see anything wrong with because we're adults, we're getting married, and cant wait to have a family. i dont agree with all the women who have mulipule 'baby daddys'. I think that the early to mid twenties is a great time to start having kids, if you are ready and are settled down or settling down with that person. Other thoughts on young pregnancies, these young girls dont know what they are getting into. They '"think" they are in love or they "think" they wanna baby. Sadly, it is becoming accepted and i think that is why it is so common. its sad, but...
    arkelly2188

    Answer by arkelly2188 at 1:14 PM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • I think the problem is with the life circumstance and not with the age.

    I know that in prior generations having children that young was the norm - but it was done within a marriage. My parents were hgh school sweethearts who married after mom graduated (dad was a year older) and about 5 months later conceived. My mom was 19 and dad was 20 when I was born. We had a wonderful home life and have a great family now. In contrast I am 30 and just now trying for #1.

    In my family it is very normal to get married young and have children around age 20.

    I think it's a different thing when girls are getting pregnant during HS, or with partners that are not committed. I understand that some adults may choose to have children as single parents, or in unmarried committed couples... but I don't think the young girls are making an educated choice the way the older women do.
    angelm523

    Answer by angelm523 at 4:24 PM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • It is sad. I wish girls would realize they have their whole life ahead of them. They need to wait to have kids until they have their education, secure jobs, so/dh that they know will be there when the baby is born. I went to school with girls that had kids while a teenager. I never thought it was cool. I guess because I had dreams and goals and knew having a baby would derail those dreams and goals.
    Mom2Just1

    Answer by Mom2Just1 at 10:57 AM on Feb. 11, 2011

  • When did the tide turn and it became ok to start having kids at 15,16 years old and have your parents financially responsible for them? I think it's gotten much more prevalent as of late. It's become much more "normalized" in the media.


    Are the sex ed classes failing our kids? Meh, perhaps, but I don't consider it their responsibility.


    Is there a breakdown in the family dynamic? Or the society? Absolutely YES to both


    vicesix

    Answer by vicesix at 1:17 PM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • .... but it is OK to celebrate the pregnancy of a 40 something year old woman who had to conceive vis in-vitro, and is now carrying a downs baby. *shakes head*


     


    eye rolling

    FricknFrack

    Answer by FricknFrack at 1:40 PM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • I think the root of the problem is several things but I really can't put the blame on tv shows. Anyone who thinks Teen Mom or 16 and Pregnant is glamorous is not paying attention. Those girls lives are awful. I think teenagers have always gotten pregnant it just was not as publicized. It's just happening more now though I think, due to declining morals, parents who aren't involved and just plain bad choices by teens. But being the product of a teen pregnancy even though my parents got married and made it work, I can't say having children in the teens and early 20's is a good idea, married or not. Life experience is extremely limited, job prospects aren't great at those ages, the list goes on.
    wildflowers25

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 1:48 PM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • I was 22 when I had my son but we were doing well financially. We didn't need any type of assistance I was working as a CPA at a large firm. My husband was in an executive training program. I can't imagine how young people who are working in minimum wage jobs manage it. I really hope my kids finish college and start careers before getting married and having children. I don't care to be a young grandmother and want my kids to do what is best for them and for their kids not what feels good at the moment. It isn't easy being a parent with resources and a spouse I can't imagine how much harder it is for a young mother who has no financial resources and many times has no partner to help her. I hope my kids want more for themselves. Vote me down if you want but I have been a young mother and now am an older mother so I do have some perspective on this topic.lol
    FricknFrack

    Answer by FricknFrack at 1:53 PM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • Having kids young is not new... Think back in history when people didn't live long so they started families at a young age... Parading (as you say) multiple kids from multiple dad's is becoming more norm and possibly acceptable because of extended families and such... Doesn't mean one should be proud for whoring it up with so many guys haha just my opinion.

    monshine2

    Answer by monshine2 at 1:54 PM on Feb. 10, 2011