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So you think I am wrong to ask my 18 yr old not to buy his friends cigarettes?

My son just turned 18. Within his circle of friends he is the oldest. Everyone else is 16 or 17. A lot of them smoke. I just asked him recently if his girlfriend smokes (because I smell it on his jacket when he comes back from being with her) He admits she does but he insists that he does not smoke nor does he intend to start. My mother & grandma both died from COPD due to smoking (they started smoking as teens) so my son knows how I feel about smoking. I asked him if he would please not buy his underage friends cigarettes. Seeing as he's 18 now & can really do as he pleases in that regard, do you think I was out of line to ask this of him? He said he understands & will not do it. I appreciate it but wonder if I should be expecting that of him.


Asked by lisa89j at 2:08 PM on Nov. 17, 2008 in General Parenting

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This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • I think you handled it well. Giving him respect and expecting him to live in a respectful manner are honors.

    Answer by SusieD250 at 3:43 PM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • He's 18 now. You can tell him that you don't want him to buy his friends cigarettes, and you can demand him not to, but the truth is, he'll do it if HE wants to. Kids are stubborn. Especially at that age. I'm 26, so I remember what it's like being 18. I've also spent the last two years raising my now 18 year old cousin.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:11 PM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • You are never out of line when asking your child to abide by the law. Depending on peer pressure, he may still buy them.

    Answer by EireLass at 2:12 PM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • No you are not wrong in asking him not to, make him aware that if he caught buying cigarettes for his friends he can get into a lot of trouble.

    Answer by sammiesmom2000 at 2:12 PM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • I think you're doing the right thing by putting it out there. Obviously he's 18 and will do it if he wants to but it's good that he has someone there telling him that it's wrong. You might let him know as well that if he got caught doing that he could be in big legal trouble.

    Answer by aurorabunny at 2:13 PM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • no it's not wrong to ask him that. It's illegal for him to buy them cigarettes...why would it be wrong to ask your child not to break the law?

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:14 PM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • Although you really have no control of it, it was a good suggestion. It is illegal and I for one would not want somebody buying my under aged kids cigarettes so I think you did good by getting it out there. You're still his mom and he will need to learn a lot with his own mistakes, but one day he will look back and say "My mom was right." Lol I know I did and still do often!

    Answer by LovinEveryDay at 2:16 PM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • he is still in your house... but i don't know how much good will come of you telling him this. Smoke is a terrible habit... so be thankful that he is not doing it.

    It is illegal for him to do it though... at least tell him you don't like it.

    Answer by charisma10 at 2:23 PM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • i do not think your wrong at all. hes doing is illegal and he should know that and no better 18 or not your still his mother ya know?! id get on his butt, but thats just me lol. i cannot believe you have a freakin 18 year old now ( sorry off context i know)

    Answer by mommyto3bees at 2:55 PM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • Your house your rules although it sounds like he's a good young man. Just remind him that if he buy's cigarett's for anyone under age he's contributing to the delinquency of a minor and could, if caught, get into serious trouble.

    Answer by happy2bme7 at 2:55 PM on Nov. 17, 2008