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How can i meet my husband in the middle when it come to disciplining our son. He believes in spanking and im not sure i want to do that what should i do?

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BabyBoi7-8-2010

Asked by BabyBoi7-8-2010 at 1:26 PM on Feb. 10, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 7 (154 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • Well first you have to find out what works for your kid. Each child is different. Some don't need to be spanked, ever. You go to a parenting class or buy a book that has many different means of positive and negative reinforcement. And you work your way up the list until you find what works for this child. I can tell you that positive reinforcement is better(more effective) than negative in most cases. I can also tell you that it is better to spank a child who was about to injury himself (stove, street, knives, jumping off the roof) that let him injury himself. Some people spank all the time because it is the only thing they know and they are lazy. Time out, rewards, praise they work.
    LoveMyDog

    Answer by LoveMyDog at 1:32 PM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • The way my husband and i do it is we sit down and discuss all the ways that we could or would want to discipline our son. Some i dont agree with and some he doesnt. If he or i dont agree on something thats the thing we try to stay away from all together and try to find something else that we would both agree on. Like if i agree on spanking and my husband doesnt then spanking becomes on the do not do list, but then we compenstate and find other ways to discipline that will replace spanking. And then if my husband doesnt agree with something its the same thing. Its just showing respect to your spouse and the other parent. The only other option i could think of is pick times when spanking is only absolutely necessary. We only spank our son on the butt if he puts himself in danger, like trying to run out to the road, trying to touch the oven when its on, things that could hurt him. Other than that we do not use spanking.
    Bobbysgurl

    Answer by Bobbysgurl at 1:37 PM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • I agree with LoveMyDog, every child is different. Spankings don't seem to phase my sister's youngest boy, but if you make him sit still in timeout, that's a completely different story, and her oldest is just the opposite. My son is 17 months old and popping his leg only seems to distract him from what he was doing, because he just smiles at me, and then later he will go right back to doing the same thing.
    mommy_jules

    Answer by mommy_jules at 1:39 PM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • i believe spankings should be used as last method of discipline. try everything you can think of first. if that doesn't work than a swat on the bottom might be just what the child needs. i don't see anything wrong with a spanking as long as it's not taken over board.
    tanper29

    Answer by tanper29 at 1:42 PM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • You both should be on the same page. I would suggest reading some books on positive disipline, that is what I am doing. My husband is clueless when it comes to parenting. If you guys shout and argue, your child will learn that is the way to deal with issues.
    Stick to what you say to your child, be consistant! Explain about the consequences if they misbehave.
    Linda1012

    Answer by Linda1012 at 1:46 PM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • Sit down and talk about it before it becomes an issue and see what methods you do agree on. Then try those out and see which work with your child. If it's not working well, sit down and talk again. Maybe do some research because there may be some ideas out there that you haven't even thought of. I do think it's important that you and dh are on the same page or it's confusing for the kids, and they play one parent against the other. Even though dh and I used the same methods of discipline, he is the more easily irritated parent and gets snappy faster... the kids are savvy to this and always try to come to me first or to otherwise cut him out of the loop because they figure they will get a better result from me!
    Freela

    Answer by Freela at 2:00 PM on Feb. 10, 2011

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