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My son's preschool thinks I should have him "evaluated" by a Dr. for his behavior. What should I do?

This is the result of several violent tantrums he's had at school. He doesn't really act up like that at home. He's only in preschool and I'm not sure if I believe in behavioral meds.

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Asked by HKing01 at 2:28 PM on Feb. 10, 2011 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 16 (2,843 Credits)
Answers (18)
  • Just bring him in to get evaluated. If they say that he needs meds, then let them know you're opposed to it. I'm going through behavioral issues with my 5 year old right now and I'm taking her to get evaluated and if they try to put her on meds I'm not going to allow it, but I sure would like to know what's going on with her.

    Answer by Nanixh at 2:30 PM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • Is there anything that seems to set off the tantrums? Quite frankly, I'd get the evaluation. It doesn't necessarily mean medication! It can mean early detection of problems like autism.

    Answer by gdiamante at 2:30 PM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • It REALLY depends on the WHY of the tantrums and the behavior; and the age of your son and the kids he's around.

    I've worked in a preschool/daycare before and would love to share some experiences from that if you're interested, I don't have the room here for it.

    Answer by Rosehawk at 2:30 PM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • do the evals , it dont mean meds , best to get it rolling at younger age if services are needed , dont mean you have to do anything , so do evels and see what they come up with you might be glad down the road , and its not a big deal , really.

    Answer by letstalk747 at 2:30 PM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • As someone that was put on behavior medication as a child- I would strongly suggest against it. It is a lazy teacher that would suggest medicating a child that young. All children are different- but all of their little bodies are very sensitive to those medications!. You should ask the "teacher" what happens to instigate these tantrums and work with her to find a solution or explain to her how your child works.

    Answer by meandrphoto at 2:30 PM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • Just because you have him evaluated does not mean you have to medicate no matter what the school tries to scare you into believing. Since you mention he doesn't do it at home do you think it has something to do with the way he is treated by others at preschool? Maybe address that with the school, but I don't see the harm in having him evaluated by someone YOU trust.

    Answer by aeneva at 2:31 PM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • take him to another pre-school. its not their place to tell you something like this.

    you could have him evaluated, if it would put your mind at ease. and if there ends up being something that needs addressing, its still up to you to do behavioral meds. however i do not think they will even consider it at 3-4 years old.

    is it possible hes very hyper-active? overly excited sometimes?

    my 4 year old is opposite - she can throw horrible tantrums here but is a perfect little angel at school according to her teacher. its not an everyday thing but she can act out worse than my 2 year old can! she just needs constant stimulation or she starts to act out. shes very active also, so when its raining out & ive exhausted all entertaining options indoors, the force of nature comes out!

    Answer by tnm786 at 2:31 PM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • Having him evaluated doesn't automatically mean medication.

    Besides that, your school district recieves state and federal funding for early intervention programs, you don't need to go straight to a Dr's office. Contact your school district to find out what programs are available.

    Depending on your child's age you'd most likely be referred to Early On. Here's a link to their webiste...

    Early ON


    Answer by UpSheRises at 2:32 PM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • well being evaluated is different than being put on meds. You have the offical say to whether or not you want your child on medicines or not. As for being evaluated it wouldnt hurt right? youll see what a doctor says and you can go from there, either its nothing or something but you have the last say. At least you can tell the preschool then that you took their advice and leave it at that. He might just be having tantrums at school due to frusteration, the chaos, seperation anxiety. Every child acts different than when at home. He might just be having trouble dealing with all the noise and other kids, or be frusterated that others dont do things like mommy and daddy do at home. I know our home is pretty peaceful, laid back, and lots of structure. When he goes out in public and plays with other kids, he gets quiet, to himself, and it takes some encouragement to get him to actually interact with kids, but not adults lol.

    Answer by Bobbysgurl at 2:34 PM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • Get him evaluated. I don't think it makes a teacher "lazy" for suggesting your child might have a problem. As a former preschool teacher, there were a couple of children who definitely had behavioral issues that were not merely age-appropriate behaviors. I held a parent-teacher conference with the parents, and suggested the children needed help. Guess what? The children were evaluated and one of them was diagnosed with a behavioral disorder. I'm not sure if the parents used medication or not.

    Answer by Fallaya at 2:35 PM on Feb. 10, 2011

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