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How would you feel about this? Please read...

If your Dad who never wanted to have anything to do with you your whole life called your 16yr old niece's Grandma out of the blue wanting to see her but not you or your brother first? and he hasn't seen my niece since she was like not even a year old? so like 15 yrs??

How would you feel?


Asked by sarasmommy777 at 3:01 PM on Feb. 10, 2011 in Relationships

Level 35 (70,598 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (22)
  • Hurt. But with his past behavior I don't think I would have expected any more from him. I hope they use caution with your niece getting involved with him. He'll hurt her too.

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 4:12 PM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • Me personally.

    I most likely wouldn't feel anything. If my father had walked, cut me out of his life, had nothing to do with me for years.. Then I would have no feelings for him. I would be pretty indifferent in regards to him and his existence. So, I wouldn't feel anything about that situation.

    Answer by pixie_trix at 3:04 PM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • not surprised

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 3:02 PM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • angry and annoyed. I wouldn't let him see her.

    Answer by Dalimonster at 3:04 PM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • I think it would be difficult for me to summon much emotion on someone so clearly not part of my life. The woman who gave birth to me wanted nothing to do with me and the thought of her contacting another relative really doesn't fill me with any sense of anything.

    Answer by Dr.Donna at 3:05 PM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • I would not allow his actions to affect me either positively or negatively. Why should you expect anything any different from such a selfish and cold-hearted man? The other lady had better watch out. My guess is he has a motive that will somehow benefit himself. Count yourself blessed to not be bothered with such a boob.

    Answer by NannyB. at 3:06 PM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • Sarasmommy - no, I really wouldn't be upset. There are rich people all over the world and I don't bat an eye over the fact that they don't leave their money to me or my children. If this man didn't want anything to do with you while you were growing up, how can you be frustrated that he's continuing to not want to be involved? I think you're wasting energy on this that it doesn't deserve - you are clearly thinking about him more than he is about you!

    My advice - stop thinking of this guy as "Dad". If he didn't help raise you, he's no better than a sperm donor. From that perspective, I think it's easy to let go of all of the other stuff. You wouldn't be upset that a sperm donor didn't write you into his will, would you?

    Answer by Dr.Donna at 3:21 PM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • May I ask.

    Which part of this is causing the most emotional response from you/strongest emotional response from you............... This man contacting your niece first...................... or..............This man possibly leaving his money to someone other than you or your children?

    Figure out which aspects of this situation are bringing about the most emotional responses/turmoil, and you can can begin pulling your feelings and thoughts together in regards to the situation. And most likely view it with clearer more objective eyes, instead of coming from an emotional place.. KWIM...

    Answer by pixie_trix at 3:33 PM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • Very upset, that's just, WRONG! What is wrong with him?

    Answer by pswiley at 3:06 PM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • Happened to me! Same situation, different scenario! I haven't seen or spoken to my dad in over 15 years. All of sudden last year my brother needed somewhere to live and ended up becoming in contact with him. They now live happily ever after and I refuse to see or talk to him. I think the whole situation is weird for me because after all these years, he hadn't reached out to me at all, now he wants to see me and meet my kids just because my brother lives with him... I refuse. Not ready and not sure if I'll ever be! Good luck in whatever you decide.

    Answer by mamaada at 3:06 PM on Feb. 10, 2011