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Should I tell my daughter about her father?

My Daughter will be 3 in a few months and her father is NOT AROUND he has not been around ever. I am single and I hope to find mr right, and when I do I know he will take us both in! In time she wil cal him daddy. Should I tell her that he is not her REAL FATHER??

 
whoops2

Asked by whoops2 at 2:52 PM on Nov. 17, 2008 in General Parenting

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Answers (27)
  • some of these women are being incredibly rude to you for asking a question that has your daughter's best interest in mind. You are wanting to shelter her from the hurt of knowing her bio father abandoned her. The bottom line is you need to tell her, and she will be old enough to know that she hasn't always had a daddy around. My oldest daughter is 3 and her biological father has never met her, his family rejects her, and he does nothing to contribute to her life. I actually got back together with my high school sweetheart when she was just a few months old and he has treated her like his own. She doesn't know, at this age, that he is not her "real" dad but I will tell her when she is old enough to understand the language of biological father versus "daddy" because I refuse to weaken the relationship she has with the man that has been her father.
    kabbot01

    Answer by kabbot01 at 4:21 PM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • I think that providing she's old enough to understand when you tell her then definitely, she deserves to know the truth. IMO it's not fair to keep it from her.
    haleykarson

    Answer by haleykarson at 2:55 PM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • She should know so that she can deal with health issues. I'd say, and I'm not an expert, that you should be upbeat about her biological father, too, not saying bad things about him.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 2:56 PM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • I think it's easier on them if you're honest with them from day one! She want understand yet but, if you tell her now and mention it over and over through out her life, it won't be such a shock to her when she finally does understand.
    amydh

    Answer by amydh at 2:56 PM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • yes. She is already three, which means by the time you meet "mr.right" and get to know him well enough to marry she will be a min of 5. It will be obvious. My oldest is 7 and I still havent meet "mr. right" but their have been a few that I thought were for awhile ;(
    hotrodlassie

    Answer by hotrodlassie at 2:57 PM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • Um yeah..do you like to be lied to? I doubt your daughter will either. And although you "plan" on finding Mr. Right sometimes life doesnt always turn out as planned. What if she is 7 yrs old when your find Mr. Right? Are you going to say "OH yeah well this is your daddy. Sorry it took so long to 'find' him" Your just setting yourself up for problems someday if you plan on lying. It's her right to know who her real parents are & not your right to just make it up to suit your fantasy.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:57 PM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • I think it will be easier on her if she knows the truth. No doubt that when you find Mr. Right, he will be the father figure that she is needing. Why not give her the choice of calling Mr. Right "daddy"? That will make their relationship that much more meaningful. And no matter how hard you try to keep the truth from her, eventually it will come out.\
    redmoonintexas

    Answer by redmoonintexas at 3:03 PM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • Miss anonymous lady! No need to be so mean. Now i see why you were hidden!!! And I will find mr right. I know it. My dd father is NO GOOD! and never has been, I might tell her the truth when i feel its time, and she is ready..! And I am right bc i am her mother. I dont have a fantasy! But do look forward to my future!.
    I hope you have a wonderful day! =)
    whoops2

    Answer by whoops2 at 3:05 PM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • Ohhhh you know she will question this when she is older she know you didnt make her on your own,

    and i would tell her the truth,its not a mystery you got pregnant,
    and you had a child,

    make sure your child,....gets to know she does have a daddy out there, a real father that made her.
    you cant find mr right and say this is your daddy god forbid when you die or somthing he will tell her the truth and it would be like two losses,
    LexsiesMommy

    Answer by LexsiesMommy at 3:06 PM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • Your profile page says you "hate liars" but you are asking if its ok to lie to your daughter? hmmmm I think you can answer your own question there.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:07 PM on Nov. 17, 2008

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