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Dealing with the ex-girlfriend

Me and dh has been together for 10 years has been married for 5 yrs. His ex-girlfriend and I work together. I am always respectful and friendly towards her I have no reason to hate her they haven't been together in eleven years. But lately I feel like she is trying to get a reaction out of me. Last week some co-worker and I were in the breakroom when she and her friend came in. I spoke as I usually do and went about my business. She and her friend sits at the table next to us and start talking loudly. They were talking about the first time they lost their virginity(they went into graphic details). I kind of figured that she was up to no good. He and dh lost their virginity together. I just got up and walked out. Since then she has been going on and on about her and dh when they were together and the things they use to do(they dated in highschool). Today she told my best friend to tell me that I shouldn't trust dh because he broke her heart and sooner or later he will break mines(dh broke up with her to date someone else). Should i say something to her? Eleven years is a long time to be hunged up on someone imo. I have always went out my way to be nice to her. Hell I even invited her out to eat with me and some other co-workers. I am just lost right now. What should I do?

 
babygirl0782

Asked by babygirl0782 at 5:26 PM on Feb. 10, 2011 in Relationships

Level 21 (11,550 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (16)
  • She is trying to get a reaction out of you. Don't let her push your buttons. Instead of getting angry and doing what she expects, confuse her and do the unexpected, just smile and her and keep telling yourself that she's not worth your time or energy. I know that it will be very hard at times. But girlfriend be truthful is she really worth you upsetting yourself over?
    debnich501960

    Answer by debnich501960 at 10:53 AM on Feb. 11, 2011

  • How old are you both?
    10 years...it's a long time. But, it sounds like high school drama.

    I'd ignore her, and kill her with kindness.
    Chloesmom1126

    Answer by Chloesmom1126 at 5:30 PM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • So, just piss her off back.

    Be like "shew, I'm trying to think of new things to do to my husband while having sex...what are some things you use to do to him" lol If she tells you, say "yeah, he said he's never been a fan of that" lol
    Chloesmom1126

    Answer by Chloesmom1126 at 5:45 PM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • Go to your boss and tell her/him she is harassing you.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 5:31 PM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • and remember he is YOUR DH ....sounds like she is a bit envious of you! Ignore her!
    rebeccadac

    Answer by rebeccadac at 5:33 PM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • Kill her with kindness she definitely wants a reaction out of you don't give her that satisfaction at the end of the day he is all yours!

    ExtremlyUnique

    Answer by ExtremlyUnique at 5:36 PM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • Honestly, if you really don't want to deal with it, you need to tell your boss. What she is doing is actually harassing you. She is purposely trying to make you uncomfortable, upset, mad... That is not a professional work environment. Next time she says something, if you want it to stop, say "i don't really want to hers about what happened 11 years ago, this is a place of work, and I don't need to deal with that here. And if you continue to do so, i will report you for harassment. So why not just let it stop here, so yup dont make it worse for everyone, ok? What happened between you and him is over and has been for a long time. I am his wife now. You need to respect that." and if you have a camera, or tape recorder, record the conversation with her. So you have proof that you told her to stop and she did not. You don't HAVE to deal with it if you don't want to, but you may have to rock the boat to get her to stop.
    Good luck!
    Mme.Langley

    Answer by Mme.Langley at 5:53 PM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • She is only getting to you because you are allowing it to.
    zebbiebug

    Answer by zebbiebug at 5:32 PM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • Just ignore her. She is obviously trying to create a problem between you and DH. Maybe she just got dumped, got in a fight... And now she is single, Vday is right around the corner, and there you are.. Happy and stable with a man she lost 11 years ago. Im sure if you and her weren't working together, it wouldn't be an issue. But she sees you on a daily basis, and maybe with everything in her life, going down, she is seeing you more now as the next girl..
    I had a problem with one of my mans exs. The best advice I can give is just ignore her. Let it roll off your back. All they want is to get a rise out of you, so they don't feel so alone in their misery, and maybe you will tell DH and he will call her. So she has a chance to talk to him.. Don't mention it to him at all. And next time she talks about what they "used to do", remind her that YOU are the one he does it with now... 11 years later.and walk away. Lol jealous girls...
    Mme.Langley

    Answer by Mme.Langley at 5:34 PM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • You have him and she doesn't -- If you say something to her -- that would almost give her permission to go to him and say something like --- "I don't know why your wife is sooooo insecure about me" --- blah blah blah. I would totally ignore her -- and if she says something to you about him again -- say something along the lines of ---- "Girl, he has changed so much -- we are each other's best friend and have so much fun together -- etc . Then smile nicely and walk away. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer!!!
    BaileysMom476

    Answer by BaileysMom476 at 5:48 PM on Feb. 10, 2011

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