Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

My daughters is being attacked and shes the one getting punished

I'm having trouble with my daughters school shes gotten attacked twice by 2 different girls and each time she has been the one to get in the most trouble just because she defended herself. The most recent problem was when a girl came up to her to confront her about something that happened the week before the girl hit my daughter so my daughter hit her back they got into a fight and the end result was that my daughter got suspended in school for the rest of the day and home suspension for the next day and the girl that started everything just got in school suspension she was allowed to attend school the next day. I speak with the asst. principal and she tells me that the reason my daughters punishment was harsher was because shes been in other fights and even though she was defending herself in those fights also she was still going to get a harsher punishment. That they supposedly have a "NO TOLERANCE" rule for fighting. I just need some advice on what I can do to help my daughter because the school doesn't want to help me. These girl are very vicious they call her very horrible names and threaten to jump her after school and I just want to stop all this before it gets any worse than it already is.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 8:38 PM on Feb. 10, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (14)
  • If you can I would withdraw her from school, it sounds as if these girls are violent and completely off the rails and you don't know what they're going to do next. Is there a school nearby she could be transferred to?

    Answer by leah_rai at 8:41 PM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • Are you absolutely positive that she is just "defending" herself and not the one hitting first?  Speak to the actual principal, say that you want a meeting.  Lay all of the facts on the table.


    Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 8:41 PM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • When she hits back, she's going to get in trouble. She should record some of what's going on so she has proof, but never never never never never hit back.. And she needs to learn that name calling is the refuge of the idiotic and IGNORE the name calling, no matter HOW vicious it is. (I used to be the target of name callers. Shocked the hell out of them when I adopted one of those names and said, "Damned right, that's what I am." It tends to throw the stupid when you agree with them, and they go looking for other targets.)

    Answer by gdiamante at 8:43 PM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • Agree with MrsHouston.

    Answer by Christine0813 at 8:43 PM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • Call the school and DEMAND a meeting with the principal/asst. principal, ALL her teachers, and make sure she is present. Address your concerns, and ask the school to implement a plan of action for your daughter. This is what your daughter MUST DO in the event she is being bullied or threatened in anyway by anyone. Then get it in writing if your daughter follows these guidelines the school will deal with the situation accordingly and not punish your daughter. This way if your daughter screws up she has no one to blame but herself, and if the school screws up you have it in writing they went back on their word and you can take them to court for breaking anti-bullying laws, or at least threaten court. School districts react very quickly when court situations are threatened.

    Answer by ba13ygrl1987 at 8:44 PM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • Are the police involved?

    Answer by tootoobusy at 8:44 PM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • Find another school to place her in.You may think this is impossible but, where there's a will there is a way.I don't know if you've noticed but girls are real violent these days.There are girls who have gotten hurt real bad or even been killed.This is a serious matter and if you can't resolve it with school officials you need to remove her from that situation or this could ruin her future.Peace and Love

    Answer by Mommy1234321 at 8:46 PM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • The "No talerance policy" basically means that you can't hit anyone for any reason. Some kid on the bus hit my little brother (11) and knocked him down and covered his mouth with one had and kept hitting him with the other, so my brother bit him, both boys got the same punishment. They expect if someone is hitting you to either run or curl up in the fetal postion and hope a teacher breaks it up. It is so stupid

    Answer by JLS2388 at 8:50 PM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • have you written out what';s going on with these girls so that they have documentation from you?
    its anyone for any reason- she is going to be in trouble. period.
    The best thing she could have done is go straight to the office with someone else to back up her story and not hit back

    Girls are jsut mean and she needs to learn how to walk away or deal with them in another way. Violence is never the answer...

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 8:50 PM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • ~*Relax*~... first thing to remember is that if your childdefended herself, and all is as you believe it to be... "relax"!!! Unless your child is going to an Ivy League school other time her records mean anything is while she is a minro ad in school. If she chooses to got o college they only care that she gradiated, can pass the entry exams they give, and worst case she does her general ed classes in a public college??? Than she can still do State if her grades/credits aren't what they should be... but bottom line, college can care less if she made all her classes, or beat up the school bully!!!! Unless she is Harvard bound, or another Ivy League college... they can truly care less.

    In the mean time get her into another scjhool... contact the school district about an "Intra-District" transfer??? Get her away from the bullies if possible! And state such on the request for transfer papers!

    Answer by MommaClark3 at 8:52 PM on Feb. 10, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.