Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

My 18 yr. old daughter dropped out of college after 1 semester. back home. won't find job. lazy. disrespectful. when I challenge her , her dad sticks up for her, then they both call me a bitch. seems I am to be the family drudge, in their opinion. help??

Answer Question
 
Lisa6077

Asked by Lisa6077 at 9:33 PM on Feb. 10, 2011 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 2 (5 Credits)
Answers (17)
  • Why did she say she dropped out? How about community college?
    tootoobusy

    Answer by tootoobusy at 9:36 PM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • Yeap, go on strike. Do NOT do anything for either one of them. No cooking, cleaning, laundry, sex for the hubby. Tell them when they respect you then you will do things for them. Tell your daughter she either goes back to school fulltime or gets a fulltime job abd pays her own way.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 9:36 PM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • I'd sit down with dad and decide on a plan to help her grow up then I'd call a family meeting. Dad isn't helping her by enabling her. What he's doing isn't showing her love. Tell him to love her and help her by making her be a responsible adult. I gave my kids a choice, school or work, but they had to do one or get out.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:37 PM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • I'd demand that they both respect me. I'd demand that her dad stand with me and not take her side against me. And if he refused, I'd move out until they both agreed to my terms.
    Anna92464

    Answer by Anna92464 at 9:44 PM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • STAND YOUR GROUND! So what if you are a bitch? Maybe have a private conversation with your hubby about not belittling you in front of her, because it really isnt going to get anyone anywhere. Ask him if he is okay with her living in your home, being supported by HIM for the rest of his life. Explain to him that you want to teach her good ethics etc. It sounds like she needs some pushing to get out of whatever rut she is in. She will need your support, but be firm. Not getting a job or not going to school is not an option. Give her a date, if one or both of these things is not accomplished by then, she needs to find a new place to live. If it comes down to it, you will ahve to be strong and stick to it. She will find her way, its just a tough time.
    Tarrar

    Answer by Tarrar at 9:47 PM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • What everyone else said!
    twinsplus2more

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 11:16 PM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • Time for her to join the military then ~
    tasches

    Answer by tasches at 5:47 PM on Feb. 11, 2011

  • You have an issue in your marriage. If your husband is calling you a bitch and not helping you parent in a responsible manor there is not much you can do. Im guessing it has been like this for a number of years.


    When I was 18 (pushing 50 now) I dropped out and mom and dad stood as one unit and gave me a month to get a job, pack up, and move out. I was on my own at 18 and learned the from the school of hard knocks. I can never thank them enough for being GOOD parents and kicking me out... I would have never come to have this amazing life had they not allowed me to grow up.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:36 PM on Feb. 11, 2011

  • Your husband should help you with letting her know that life is not easy and that she needs to learn how to talk to you.
    HomeAlone45

    Answer by HomeAlone45 at 11:28 AM on Feb. 12, 2011

  • I agree with most of what has been said already...You need to get together with your husband and if not and they make your life misreable start thinking about what you need to do for you
    peace013

    Answer by peace013 at 11:37 AM on Feb. 12, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN