A new childhood anti-obesity initiative is set to become law later this year. Experts in the field of childhood obesity are excited at the prospect of curbing and reversing the out of control rising level of obesity in young children and teens. The initiative called F.W.A.T. (Feed, Weigh And Tax) is the brainchild of a childhood obesity think tank committee formed by the current administration.
F.W.A.T. creators believe that the new law’s implementation will be simple and easy to understand for parents. Through coordinated efforts of local schools and the federal government, every school age child will be weighed monthly at their school. The individual weight data will then be entered into a federal data base which will be overseen by a new obesity czar. The data will be tracked and the parents of children who are found to be overweight or obese will be taxed on a per pound basis. The tax will be added to the parent’s annual income tax and will be monitored by federal obesity agents to ensure prompt payment. While the exact cost of the new fat tax has not yet been declared, obesity experts predict that the per pound cost of the offending youngsters will fall somewhere between the per pound cost of butter and boneless pork roast.
In addition to the monthly weigh-in, schools will be expected to help with the initiative in other ways. All educators will receive special adipose surveillance training from Homeland Security. According to a department spokesman, the most important concept for all teachers to remember is that “if you see something, say something.”
Parents who believe that their circumstances present a hardship may apply for a F.W.A.T. waiver which will relieve them of any tax liability in their child’s obesity. Failure to pay the F.W.A.T. tax under the new guidelines may result in garnishing of the parent’s or child’s wages and or relocation of the entire offending family to any of several new federal Weight Re-education Camps.
More information can be found online at fwat.org.gov.
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