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Would this rub you the wrong way?

DH gets $300-$1000 back after each business trip and yesterday he told me "I'm sick of spending my money on only the things we need. From now on, this is my money and I'm going to spend it on whatever I want". I want him to be happy, but jeez.

And I think it would be handy to know that his actual income is pretty low, most of our money goes to rent, utilities, and our car payment....and we're usually $100 away from being broke.

Even if you do agree that he should feel able to buy fun things, would him saying this rub you the wrong way at all?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:24 AM on Feb. 11, 2011 in Money & Work

Answers (17)
  • this would bother me bc why is he the only who gets to spend money on whatever they want.... it sounds like hes being selfish to me... i mean if he did it once in awhile i would be ok but it cant be every time especially if youre living paycheck to paycheck...

    Answer by zperez0809 at 9:26 AM on Feb. 11, 2011

  • I'd be sleeping alone. One selfish turn deserves another. ;)

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:26 AM on Feb. 11, 2011

  • if he has any money left after the bills are paid he should get to have some fun, but he shouldnt have said it that way, I am sure he is just frustrated about being broke all the time, I know I am

    Answer by shivasgirl at 9:27 AM on Feb. 11, 2011

  • It would make me very mad!! I say u split the money that way there is some for bills and some for him to have fun.

    Answer by dancer at 9:27 AM on Feb. 11, 2011

  • It most definitely would rub me the wrong way; he sounds like a 3-year old, for Pete's sake! He may be the breadwinner BUT it is your (both of you) money. You should both decide how to spend it. Try to talk to him once he gets over his little temper tantrum.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:28 AM on Feb. 11, 2011

  • You're in a marriage, a partnership. The responsible things (bills) have to come first, regardless of his "wants." Maybe you can decide on an amount to set aside for him to play with? You should have some play money as well.

    Just curious - the money my DH gets back from his trips is actually repayment of what he's spent - is he earning extra money or spending money that should be paying off bills he racked up?

    Answer by Scuba at 9:28 AM on Feb. 11, 2011

  • It would bother me the wrong way also. He failed to realized that this is life. I would love to buy what I want when I want but I have obligations to my family. Family comes first. GL!

    Answer by babygirl0782 at 9:29 AM on Feb. 11, 2011

  • When you marry someone you agree to share everything with them, there's no selfishness in marriage and you need to make that clear to him! If he wants to have fun and has some spare money then you should have some fun too!

    Answer by leah_rai at 9:29 AM on Feb. 11, 2011

  • Yeah that would piss me off. We are in the same boat you are. We have just enough to get buy, but I'm so thankful for that. Sounds like your DH still needs to grow up. It's not about what you want it's what you need and as long as needs are met then he should be happy. If he wants things he needs to learn to save for them.

    Answer by luvmygrlz at 9:30 AM on Feb. 11, 2011

  • It would bother me to no end. In our house everything is OURS, there is no MINE. When I married my husband he knew this was how I viewed things. He works and I am a SAHM but I have a degree and could easily go back to work making twice as much as my DH. He doesnt want me to though, so if he started saying MINE, I would go get a job and call my money mine too. Maybe you should suggest you get a job and that anything you earn would be just yours>?

    Answer by gemgem at 9:31 AM on Feb. 11, 2011

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