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4 Bumps

Somebody save me from my toddler, please!!!

I don't know what to do. My three year old son is a NIGHTMARE. We've struggled for MONTHS to potty train, he just doesn't want to. He pretty much refuses most of the time, but he sometimes will go on his own. Several times now, he has taken off his underwear after he dirties it, and poops all over the floor. Sometimes he smears it on the walls, furniture, etc. Yesterday and today he's had diarrhea, so I put him in a diaper. He dirtied it, threw it on his floor and then diarrhea'd all over the floor. It has ruined two rugs. I stepped in it! I'm pregnant, so of course I threw up after seeing what I had stepped in. I had to put him in the bath while I tried to clean up the mess. I get him out, dress him and as soon as I sit down for a much needed break, he says he's thirsty and hungry. I can't catch a break! He is literally driving me mad! He never listens to me, he screams and shrieks when he doesn't get what he wants in public (which I never give in, but the screaming gives me panic attacks). I also have an 8 month old baby, so you can imagine how busy I am. We are stationed in Germany so I have no family to help out. When he's not making tremendous messes, he's talking my ear off. He never stops talking and asking for things. He was such an easy baby and 1 year old! Where did that sweet boy go? I'm at the end of my rope. Please, someone give me some advice that will help! :( :(

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:43 AM on Feb. 11, 2011 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (14)
  • Save me from my 3 toddlers! Gawl, I feel your pain....here's a bump, cause both you and I need the advice! lol
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:45 AM on Feb. 11, 2011

  • So sorry sweetie! take a break from potty training until his tummy is better. When you start again, put him in a pull-up and start taking him potty every hour, whether he does anything or not. Get him a book about big boys going potty. The key is to be consistent. At school my DS got an M&M for going potty, (I didn't do this at home though), maybe that's worth a try. Also talk with the Dr. The smearing poop on the walls and floor to me doesn't sound normal. Maybe he's going through a rough time with a new baby at home, and another one on the way. Can you also send him to daycare/preschool 2 days a week to get yourself a break? You really need to take a break. Trust me I know!

    Good luck! I really hope it gets better for you.
    Luvnlife4

    Answer by Luvnlife4 at 10:49 AM on Feb. 11, 2011

  • Normally I don't reccomend this but, spank him for his "accidents" they seem to be on purpose.

    Hold him responsible for his actions. Punish for smearing the poop, like take a fave toy. As for the talking, not much u can do.
    lstrickland

    Answer by lstrickland at 10:50 AM on Feb. 11, 2011

  • He needs a time out!! Wait till he is 4 to potty train him. He keeps doing this because u r not doing anything to stop it. U need to give him consequences to his actions. He is acting out and it will get worse unless u stop it. now!!!
    dancer

    Answer by dancer at 10:50 AM on Feb. 11, 2011

  • Please don't spank him. It sounds like he's having a hard time, and spanking will just confuse him. I think that at the point you are at now, you may loose your temper at that gets dangerous! He does need consequences, but spanking is not one of them. consistency, love and boudaries work.
    Luvnlife4

    Answer by Luvnlife4 at 10:55 AM on Feb. 11, 2011

  • First of all, I want to hug you and give you a shoulder to cry on...I can't imagine..you poor thing. Stop the potty training, and put him in his room...make sure he's safe and let him go to town, with throwing a fit, crying, screaming, whatever....do you have a park you can take him to? Just let him run and play until he can't anymore....it sounds like he may have some pent up frustration, anger and energy...he may be taking it out on you different ways...I would speak to the doc about the poop smearing...I've heard of babies doing this, but not a 3 1/2 year old...there may be something else going on that he can't express to you...do you have a drop off daycare where you're living??? you need a break. I only have one and I know how much I appreciate my family living in the same city....do what you need to do, so you can keep your sanity. Again, Im so sorry for what you're going through :( (((hugs)))
    calliesmommie

    Answer by calliesmommie at 10:56 AM on Feb. 11, 2011

  • another idea is put on a onesie backwards with a diaper underneath... or duct tape the diaper... also he needs time out and sounds like individual attention keep him busy with activities.. or get a teenager after school can play with him a bit... idk but make something work before the 8 mo old picks up on it.... and think about birth control after your due.. good luck
    miritrose

    Answer by miritrose at 10:57 AM on Feb. 11, 2011

  • dont spank the poor kid geeesh thats too extreme. It takes time with boys put him back in pullups and talk to him about. When my brother did that my mom and dad made him clean it up.
    MarGeee

    Answer by MarGeee at 11:04 AM on Feb. 11, 2011

  • Sounds like you have a lot of plates spinning in the air right now!
    Your little guy probably wants attention. Can you get a mommy's helper, just to play with him for a bit? Please, as other pp's have said, don't spank him for pooping on the floor. My daughter did the same, smearing poop on the wall, and it was that same age. I made her help mme clean it up, and she never did it again! In the end, just remember, it will pass. He won't be doing this in college, take a potty training break.
    liteofmine71

    Answer by liteofmine71 at 11:14 AM on Feb. 11, 2011

  • I also have a 3 year old that has been resistant to potty training.. I've found the more I push the more resistant he is. As bad as I want him out of diapers he's not ready.. I've decided to back off a little. He also has a baby sibling and I think that has a lot to do with him not wanting to give up his diapers. Let yourself off the hook.. Just give him time it will happen. I know it can feel like this is never going to end but this stage is only a very short season in our lives... If we can just find hope and comfort in knowing that it will come to pass!! That sweet boy will resurface once he gets through this phase he is in.. In the moment it's hard to grasp, but they grow up so quickly! One day you will look back and laugh sharing these stories with him when he's older..
    mandyh0319

    Answer by mandyh0319 at 11:23 AM on Feb. 11, 2011

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