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How did you decide you were done having more kids?

Did you and your husband have a discussion about it? Did you both come to that conclusion naturally, or was (or is) there disagreement over whether to have more? Or, conversely, how do you know you still want to have more?

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Cafe Cynthia

Asked by Cafe Cynthia at 3:56 PM on Nov. 17, 2008 in General Parenting

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Answers (14)
  • When I realized I didn't want to carry a diaper bag anymore...LOL...Seriously ~ it was a mutual decision. Our two + his two (grown and in their 30's) from a previous marriage...that's plenty for us!

    Answer by happy2bme7 at 4:00 PM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • We decided together because IMO, the more you have, it can be harder to give them each the individual attention they deserve. JMO.


    Answer by LovingParent08 at 4:15 PM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • my husband didn't want more than 2 at first. He eventually gave in to 2 more. I knew I was done after 4 because it became so much work that I couldn't keep up anymore. But mostly it was a feeling that I was Satisfied with what I had. I never had that feeling before. After three my DH and I agreed that we would stop. But I just couldn't get myself to let go of the outgrown babystuff. After I had baby #4 I was suddenly ready to let it go!

    Answer by amydh at 4:17 PM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • We talked about it after two. We figured we were financially set and we could reasonably afford two kids. We were careful but didn't take any permanent action because I couldn't see still being in my twenties and being "done". We put off any procedures that would ensure no suprises came up and then when we finally decided it was time to act we discovered we were already pregnant again. It was shocking at first but in the end we just figured there was a reason we waited and this must have been it.

    Answer by sillyt at 4:27 PM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • my DH never "wanted" kids but he loves them more than his life.

    we agreed to have one and see how it went. when he was 1.5 it felt right to have another. after he was born i got the 5-year IUD. about 3 years in i wanted another, DH didn't. waited and whined and begged and argued.

    after it expired i had it out and i didn't ever return to normal, wasn't ovulating. charted x6 months and my OB said i wasn't O-ing. next month i was KU. i knew that baby girl was meant to be, and i'm still (2 years later) telling DH i told you so!

    but we're both old and i do NOT want to be PG again so i had things tied up the day after she was born. and i have not regretted it.

    everyone is different and you really do know when you want to be done that you are DONE!

    Answer by MamaBear1001 at 4:54 PM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • We are trying to decide and have decided not to decide - the question is put on hold at the moment. So we may expand our family with one more child or we may be a one child family. We do know we are doing foster parenting but weather we will adopt again is another issue. I have wondered how other people come to a concrete decision about this. Some days I feel like our family should be expanded by one more child - that we have that love, time, and resources to give. Other days I think that we do not have the energy, money, or time. I go back and forth. I sometimes wonder if that back and forth is normal.

    Answer by frogdawg at 5:04 PM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • I have a 16 y/o from a previous marriage and from my now marriage I have an almost 2 y/o and an 8 month old. I am getting to old to keep birthing babies. My husband is younger than I am and we agreed w/ the last child to not have anymore so I got my tubes tied. Sometimes, I think I still want another but know that we possibly can't afford it. For us, we made the right decision.

    Answer by jandyrodax at 5:49 PM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • I remember there was this point while I was in labor when I said...."I ain't doin' this again!" Three years later I still only have one! heheheeh
    Hubby on the other hand isn't so satisfied with one, and wants another, so we cut out the birthcontrol and will just wait and see what happens I guess. I want another kid but i don't want to have to give birth to it!!!!

    Answer by geminishadow79 at 6:26 PM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • I cannot physically have more kids due to some health problems I suffer from, and although we both have agreed we would adopt, we feel like two kids is just enough for us and our family situation. I think we, as women, just know when its enough!!


    Answer by LuminousMom at 7:50 PM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • It depends on the day you ask me. lol

    Just kidding. We both decided that we'd like to have one more biologically and then adopt one a few years down the road. =)

    Answer by my2luvbugs at 8:26 PM on Nov. 17, 2008

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