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My husband I have have major money issues and trust which has really started to affect our marriage, how can we gain each other's trust?

My husband and I have been married for 8 years and have kept our finances seperate for the most part. He has retired and has a huge nest egg, I retired and have a monthy income andalso provide healthcare for us. He pays for all the household expenses except food and clothing. We each have kids from previous marriages I have 1 and he has 3 . We have a prenup, I am only entitled to one half of the house, all of his other assets which are too many to mention will be divided by his 3 kids. We are always fighting about money and it has started to really affect our marriage and we have lost all trust and intimacy. He recently sent me a letter stating all the costs of the house and how he feels he is being taken advantage of and wants me to be more financially independent which is what he thought I was when we married. He had been hurt badly by his ex wife and she cheated on him and it cost him alot to divorce her so he is gun shy. I don't know how to resolve our differences and gain his trust. He feels un appreciated for all he spends and I feel unappreciated for all the household chores, being a loving wife and stepmother to his children..etc.. any suggestions we can't go on like this he keeps asking me for a responce to his letter and I am at a loss on how to make this right...help

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piperpuppy

Asked by piperpuppy at 3:33 PM on Feb. 11, 2011 in Relationships

Level 2 (8 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • TRUST IS LIKE CREDIT ONCE YOU MESS IT UP IT IS HARD TO GET BACK GOOD LUCK
    ExtremlyUnique

    Answer by ExtremlyUnique at 3:34 PM on Feb. 11, 2011

  • Is this a marriage or a business relationship???? I'd get the heck out of there..if he can't value you for YOU, then he doesn't deserve you.
    companygoddess

    Answer by companygoddess at 3:47 PM on Feb. 11, 2011

  • Sounds more like a business than a marriage. You should sit down and talk to him about all of this. Money and love should have nothing to do with one another. If he loves you then he needs to stop treating you like a business partner and more like a wife.

    SinaiJ

    Answer by SinaiJ at 3:49 PM on Feb. 11, 2011

  • Well you have been married for 8 years and you have proven yourself to him so he shouldn't have trust issues with him you both have decided from the beginning of the relationship to pay bills seperate and it worked for you so what is his problem now. Ask him what does he want now 8 years into the marrage, is he unhappy now or what...
    dusty1962

    Answer by dusty1962 at 3:01 PM on Feb. 12, 2011

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