Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

HELP! My son is super attached to can I get him to give others the time of day??

Answer Question

Asked by lefultz87 at 6:54 PM on Feb. 11, 2011 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 6 (133 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • Mama, you are number one right now and soon enough you will loose your notoriety, enjoy it while it last, but exposing him to others for long periods might help.


    Answer by older at 6:57 PM on Feb. 11, 2011

  • I love being number 1, don't get me wrong...but I've been home with him for 5 1/2 months now...and I've never heard a kid scream louder and longer than he does the INSTANT he leaves my arms....not to mention I think I'm "spoiling" him by holding him all day long...he cries and will not stop if I lay him down or leave him to play with a toy for just a few minutes. I know it sounds stupid, but will it cause lasting psychological damage if I let him cry for ten minutes here and there? I don't want him to be so attached that I run myself ragged, but he is and I am. :(

    Comment by lefultz87 (original poster) at 7:00 PM on Feb. 11, 2011

  • A little crying will not harm him as long as you are sure that the crying comes from the separation and not something else, all will pass and new challenge will come in its place, just take it all in. At this stage they still need the nurturing constantly so you aren't spoiling him mama, but bonding, do it without fear of spoiling, you will have enough time to let go so enjoy it now.

    Answer by older at 7:26 PM on Feb. 11, 2011

  • You can't spoil him with affection. It's impossible. He sounds like a high-need child and as the mother of one, I promise, pushing them away does NOT help matters. They become independent with time and a little encouragement, but he is very young and really needs you all the time. I know it's hard, I know it's exhausting, but you can't change who he is.

    Do you have a sling or other type of carrier? That will be your best friend for at least the next year or two. I'd invest in a good one like an Ergo if you don't already have one.

    Answer by LeanneC at 8:15 PM on Feb. 11, 2011

  • You can't spoil a baby. You can't hold a baby too much. And there are studies about cortisol levels in infants left to cry and how unhealthy it is. Hold the baby.

    Answer by ecodani at 9:06 PM on Feb. 11, 2011

  • My DD was super attached to me. The only person she would somewhat put up with was my FIL. She was horrible to her father until she was about 2.5, when I had a family emergency and had to leave her with her father and brother. I have never heard such a loud scream - over all of the airport traffic. Then she only put up with him. Even at 11 she is mostly a mama's girl, which makes life interesting with 2 mama's kids and one who takes first available.

    Answer by balagan_imma at 10:19 PM on Feb. 11, 2011

  • Baby play dates are a great solution, Gives him a chance to meet the little ones around him and it gives you time to do your own thing.

    Answer by kwd18 at 1:27 PM on Feb. 12, 2011

  • My oldest is a momma's boy and has been since birth. He made my mom and dad feel bad because he would not go to them or anyone else, only momma. When I would leave the room or someone would have to take care of him then he would be fine but if momma was around it was momma only. I didn't have the problem where he was overly clingy but momma couldn't leave the room or do anything and if he was hurt, hungry, or tired it was momma he wanted. He would play with kids no problem, he is a very social child. I was not one that like to let my children cry for me. When it came to weaning him from breastfeeding, dad would rock him to sleep and I would go into the bed room (out of sight out of mine) and in a two week time he went from being clingy to he is still a momma's boy but he will let other hold him. The younger baby is when you try to change a habbit the better off the transition is, what ever you try stick to it. Good Luck!

    Answer by ChristyW3 at 1:45 PM on Feb. 13, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.