Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

NEED ADVISE!!! PLEASE READ

ok so my SO is planning to go on a trip to colorado with some of his friends... but leaving me and my daughter behind at home.. he's gone to padre for spring break, he's gone camping with his guys, gone out of town for the night to celebrate his BF's 21st birthday, ect...

4 months ago me and my DD moved to his town (that was 2 hours away) and moved in with him. he's had his OWN free time to get up and go out and do whatever he pleased for the first 5 months of our DD life... anyways thats besides the point..

do you think that it is fair that he is planning on a trip to go to Colorado (we live in tx) and not including me and OUR DD???

Answer Question
 
stephany21

Asked by stephany21 at 4:56 PM on Nov. 17, 2008 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • I'd schedule a trip with your friends and leave the baby with him!!!!
    companygoddess

    Answer by companygoddess at 4:57 PM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • I don't think its fine that he is leaving you guys. I would say men need time to them self's but no he has had alot of them with out the family. Have you talked to him about it?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:59 PM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • No it is not right ..I think he is not ready for a relationship either .Time for you to move back home and move on with your live. He is not ready for you
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 5:02 PM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • i think your right.. louise2... bc this is not the first time this has came up with him wanting to go off and leave us
    stephany21

    Answer by stephany21 at 5:04 PM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • Depends on how often it happens. If it isn't very often then yeah let him have his play time with his buddies. Every weekend, no. He needs to plan time with you and his baby. When he goes out of town maybe you could have some girlfriends over and have a pizza party. If you don't have friends yet, maybe you could join a play group, or a church group, or the Y?
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 5:05 PM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • Sounds like he goes away a lot! It doesn't seem ok to me, but my husband never wants to leave us! I'd make sure there isn't something else going on...
    KatieCrandall

    Answer by KatieCrandall at 5:14 PM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • It's kinda rash to say go back home...or retaliate... Maybe you could discuss with him your feelings first. Him going to Colorado is a really BIG trip, especially since you have a child. Men don't think rationally. Maybe you should have a good sit down with him and let him know that you'd like to go places as well. Compromise on something... for every trip he has with the guys, he has one with you. If you really want the relationship to work. And I'm thinking you do, since you moved with him. Just don't let him take you for granted too soon. Cuz other stuff may interfere in your relationship that could have bad results.
    youngmomofms

    Answer by youngmomofms at 5:28 PM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • It sounds like he had you move in in order to take care of his obligation to you and the child, not necessarily to be a family. He seems to have his life still separated from your's and family life. I'd talk with him and ask him why he asked you to come live with him. If he doesn't give the right answer I'd pack and go home.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:30 PM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • I checked your profile, and I live about 3 hours away from you in Brady. Maybe when he leaves WE can get together! I have 3 kids aged 10 and up. Pm me, and let's see what we can come up with. BTW, where did you live before? What he's putting you through is BS IMO.
    rhope4

    Answer by rhope4 at 5:39 PM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • doesn't sound to me like he's ready for the committment of having a family to be responsible for. you need to figure out what's more important, having him around most of the time, and being ok with his mancations, or moving back home, where you (possibly?) have family to help you all the time, but without him. he might be selfish, but if you don't put your foot down and let him know how you feel being a single mom(because that's what i get you are feeling like, being left out of his 'fun' life, and not being able to have your own), he will continue with his trips leaving you and the kids behind. or you could, like another said, go on your own trips. whats good for the goose is good for the gander.
    thehairnazi

    Answer by thehairnazi at 7:15 PM on Nov. 17, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN