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How do I tell him that I didn't get the job?

Okay, right now, I work but my work is very unstable. One week, I could work only 1 day and the next week I can work 5 days. And when school is out, I don't work at all (it's with the school system). A few weeks ago, my husband and I agreed that I would stay with my job until his GI Bill runs out and then (or close to before it does) I would start looking for a job. However, we also agreed that if there was a job that came open that had good pay and good hours, that I would apply to it. About two weeks ago, I applied for a parapro position and I told my husband about it. Well, this week was one of those only working 1 day weeks and my husband has been in a terrible mood about it. He has griped and complained about my lack of job. He mentioned that he can't wait until I get a full time job and that I better get this parapro job. I found out today that I didn't get it. I haven't told him yet, but when I asked him about why he is griping and reminded him about the plan, he said "well, that's before I found out, you could possibly have a good job for once". This is really stressing me out. I am afraid to tell him that I didn't get it and now, I don't even want to tell him when I do apply to other jobs. I feel like a failure. = (

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:16 PM on Feb. 11, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • Your not a failure if your trying to get a job like you and your husband agreed. I'm sorry, he shouldn't be giving you so much crap about it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:21 PM on Feb. 11, 2011

  • You're not a failure! No one is able to get a job right now...with this economy. When you tell him, do it when your sad, this way he can feel your emotion (as we can). This is upsetting you and he should know so he can understand what you are going thru as well.
    Dreamlander

    Answer by Dreamlander at 10:22 PM on Feb. 11, 2011

  • UR not a failure! just bec. u didn't get the JOB... HE SHOULD BE UNDERSTANDING w/u, specially in this economy. HE should INSPIRE or wish u luck to get the job next time. w/ no pressure =( good luch hun!
    inahan

    Answer by inahan at 10:31 PM on Feb. 11, 2011

  • "luck* lol
    inahan

    Answer by inahan at 10:32 PM on Feb. 11, 2011

  • The way he is treating you is very mean and almost threatining. You should not be afraid to tell your husband somthing that you have no control over what so ever. The fact that you are afraid is not a good sign. I was in this situation in my first marriage and I was being verbally and physically abused. If you are this scared you should take evaluation of your marriage and see if he really respects you or not. If he doesnt maybe you should see if how you you would do on your own. It took me over three years to plan and get a divorce. I am not forcing this on you and its far from this but it just makes me so sad to see women getting treated like crap. And to me your husband is doing this to you. You need to let him know this and see how he reponds. Dont stay in a situation where you have to be afraid. You can contact me if you ever want to talk.
    21lisa72

    Answer by 21lisa72 at 10:40 PM on Feb. 11, 2011

  • I agree wtih 21lisa72. Being afraid of telling him something that is beyond your control is a huge red flag. I know this from experience in my marriage. I would be afraid to tell him things I know he'd go off on. It is a control thing and I couldn't keep living like that - making excuses for him to act like that, walking on egg shells to not set him off and have a fight. I hope that you tell him and he can comfort you instead of making you feel like a failure. He shouldn't be putting that much pressure on you. My ex-husband did that, too. He complained about his job and not being able to make more money, but expected me to keep climbing the corporate ladder and make more. If I got any raise (tiny as they were) he'd first think would I put more into our joint account instead of congratulations - he told me this. Anyway, his behavior is an issue, just be careful. And just tell him, it's not your fault. So sorry.
    rio_burb

    Answer by rio_burb at 10:42 AM on Feb. 12, 2011

  • Sounds to me like he's stressing about money and it's coming out onto you. Sadly, I do that. My father does too and mom calls it kicking the cat. I try hard not to and I'm a lot better these days, but I have to watch myself. Sometimes, my poor husband feels like he can't breathe right and he didn't do a thing wrong...I'm just stressed.

    Tell him you didn't get the job. I bet you'll be surprised and he'll be sympathetic. You can also offer to re-negotiate the deal on job hunting. That will allow y'all to talk and see where things need to be.
    Stacipr

    Answer by Stacipr at 3:48 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

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