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5yr old liar

I have a very sweet but increasingly sneaky 5yr old. "put your dirty clothes away sweety" I find them behind the chair. "who colored on the doll house?" Not me she says. At school when she thought no one was looking she tried to move her name back to green from Red after getting in trouble.She is a sensetive strong willed personality. I need punishment ideas. Make her write "I wont lie" lots of times? No TV? She doesn't have a special toy I can take from her. She has a Valentines party Sat. am I suppose I could take that, her sisters would go so that would hurt pretty good. HELP

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randieia

Asked by randieia at 10:47 PM on Feb. 11, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 4 (47 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • Ugh.
    DMac08

    Answer by DMac08 at 10:54 PM on Feb. 11, 2011

  • maybe she needs to be challenged more?
    proudmom611

    Answer by proudmom611 at 10:55 PM on Feb. 11, 2011

  • I am not there yet so I can't say with any authority, but an idea is to get some kids books out of the library about lying (Librarians are great about finding books like that, maybe even call ahead so they have time to find you a few) and have a serious discussion about lying after you read them with her. Maybe come up with a consequence with her so that she knows what will happen.
    christinab313

    Answer by christinab313 at 10:56 PM on Feb. 11, 2011

  • As I feel I have a bias, technically she is not lying. She's creative and witty, it seems. The objective would seem to be how could you guide her particular skills in a way that she gets what she wants and you do as well. i.e she might think she is smarter that you like some little girls do...You want her to be smart, right? Maybe smartly find that perfect way to be smarter than her but let her feel like it is she who is so smart and only 5! She is a salesperson at heart and maybe by birth. Try some things like "what's in it for me?' or "able, willing and ready". You have to be all three of those in order to make the big purchase. Maybe even, "WIN, WIN" where you both gain from her incredible gift of shell game shifting. When she needs something in particular from you, you could say that you have been looking for "Not Me" and will only be able to help her when you have found Not Me and not a moment too soon.
    kbutts

    Answer by kbutts at 10:59 PM on Feb. 11, 2011

  • I think what you need to do is establish with her what lying is. How I handle stuff like that would go as following
    Me, "did you put your clothes away"
    Child "Yes"
    I go check see that it is not done
    Me "you said you put your clothes away, but you did not. When you say you did something, but you did not, that is lying. From this point forward, when you lie, you will be expected to do an extra chore, and you will be on house restriction for the rest of the day you plus the full next day. "
    Now I just basically gave you exactly how we had to handle it with our 5 yr old son a few months ago. It gave me an opportunity to clearly lay out what I viewed as a lie, and what the consequences would be from that point forward. BTW house restriction is as it sounds, they are restricted to the house (my kids play outside a lot) but it also means nothing electronic.
    daughteroftruth

    Answer by daughteroftruth at 11:22 PM on Feb. 11, 2011

  • oh, and an extra chore for our 5 yr old would be scrubbing a small section of wall, or washing the dinning room chairs, or washing all the door handles in the house. Luckly our 5 yr old does not get into trouble much... our 7 yr old though... this past month he is going for a record... but at least I have clean walls!!
    daughteroftruth

    Answer by daughteroftruth at 11:24 PM on Feb. 11, 2011

  • both my sons have ODD (oppositional defiant disorder) so every day something new arises.....i cant handle every situation the same way every day....lying is a huge part of it and it gets frustrating but i find them lying less and less the more i am calm and have them explain one at a time what happened.....we do alot of chores here too tho...but that is mostly to get them to focus...
    Lovelylis

    Answer by Lovelylis at 12:40 AM on Feb. 12, 2011

  • Read her the book "The boy who cried wolf".
    ladymomtraveler

    Answer by ladymomtraveler at 2:06 AM on Feb. 12, 2011

  • Lying is a normal phase for kids to go through. Trust me, I'm a kindergarten teacher. Five year olds are difficult to punish. Try sitting her down and explaining to her the difference between a lie and the truth. I have to do that a lot with my students. Explain to her that when you say something that isn't true then that is called a lie and when people lie then there are consequences and make sure she knows what consequences are. Pick something that has a direct relation to what she did so that she understands like, if you tell her that she has to eat all of her vegetables before she can have dessert and she lies and says she finished them when she didn't then you make her eat extra vegetables and no dessert. When I was a kid, what worked best with me is when my mother told me that the worst part about me lying was that she couldn't trust me any more. It made me feel worse then the punishment did.
    Razzle_Dazzle1

    Answer by Razzle_Dazzle1 at 3:46 AM on Feb. 12, 2011

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