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3 Bumps

HELP! I tried to break up with him and he won't accept it.

OK, I got with my SO when I was just barely 18. We pretty much ran away together to where his family is from. We went from WI to NY. After being together for 5 months I got pregnant. I was ready to leave him and go home until that happened. I decided to try and stick it out. Our daughter will now be 4 in a few months, and I just cannot do this anymore. I broke up with him on Jan 2nd and I have tickets home for Feb 28th. He will not let me leave.
He says that I cannot take his daughter from him. Well too little too late I guess. He has never done anything for her. He never once changed a diaper or made a meal. I used to have to get a babysitter even if he was going to be home or didn't have to work. He has NEVER been alone with her.
He also has treated me like dirt. He has cheated with 5 women that I know of, and I am sure that there are more. He has never directly hit me but has slammed me into walls and pushed me down. I cannot take it anymore.
So anyways I broke up with him and he won't let me leave. You may wonder how this is possible but I am literally scared. I called local authorities and they have informed me that I need his written permission to take my daughter out of state and they cannot put a restraining order on him or anything because I have no proof of what he has done.
What the heck do I do? I saved up 200 dollars for the tickets and I am stuck and scared.

Answer Question

Asked by xomandyxo at 11:38 PM on Feb. 11, 2011 in Relationships

Level 3 (24 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • You might have to stay in the state and fight for custody.

    Answer by tootoobusy at 11:40 PM on Feb. 11, 2011

  • I'm sorry I don't have any advice but I'll give you a bump

    Answer by Liz132 at 11:41 PM on Feb. 11, 2011

  • Call a domestic violence shelter and ask for help getting out. That is BS that the cops won't help you, he is holding you against your will. Can a family member come and help you leave? Does he work? Leave when he is at work or out. Have a bag packed with clothes and important papers and when you get a chance, just leave. Get back to Wisconsin and file for emergency custody when you get here. (I live in Wisconsin.)

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 11:41 PM on Feb. 11, 2011

  • as soon as he does something call the cops on him then it's true you can't take a child out of state without the consent of the other parent. but think of other options can you move out of the house ? in the same state for sometime ? just to see if things cool down & maybe eventually he'll let you take her . or look for other resources that help abused women theres a lot of help out there good luck

    Answer by mommyof2chasmin at 11:42 PM on Feb. 11, 2011

  • it wouldnt be much of a fight. he has no job, no family left, a criminal record along with numerous DWI's. i have no where to go to stay except for with him, i have no family or friends out here in ny.

    Comment by xomandyxo (original poster) at 11:42 PM on Feb. 11, 2011

  • go ahead and leave the state....unless you were married at the time of the birth or have signed legal papers since, he will have to take you to court and have a dna test before he has any legal might want to double check with a local lawyer on that, but its true for most states atleast. im going to bet he isnt willing to put in the time and money to fight for joint custody

    Answer by LoriaAnn at 11:53 PM on Feb. 11, 2011

  • Yep, you'll have to do a custody battle. And once you have full custody, you can leave him.

    Answer by febmom007 at 11:54 PM on Feb. 11, 2011

  • were not married or anything but he did sign the birth certificate

    Comment by xomandyxo (original poster) at 11:56 PM on Feb. 11, 2011

  • I'd say you need to call some kind of a shelter and get away fr him before he does hurt you or your little girl. If you wait around you may never go, and you'll be stuck for life with a looser, call a shelter, they can point you in the right direction. It seems they never have any interest in their kids until the Mother decides to leave or has already left, then it's boo hoo, I want my babies. They all say the same thing to make you feel guilty, so don't fall for it, and just do it for if not you, for your little girl. Good luck.

    Answer by MyAngel003 at 11:57 PM on Feb. 11, 2011

  • if you weren't married when you daugther was born thre is nothing he or they can do about you leaving the state with her. Or at least that's how it is in our state. If your unwed and have a child you have 100% legel rights and full custody.

    Answer by red_head_mommy2 at 12:07 AM on Feb. 12, 2011

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