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Does your tween daughter dye her hair, wear make-up? PLEASE, NO JUDGING!!!

My 6th grader, age 11, feels that she is old enough. I tell her that she can wear makeup when she is in 9th grade ..MAYBE .. She can't cut or dye her hair until she's grown. What are your thoughts?

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Asked by darmika at 12:04 AM on Feb. 12, 2011 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 12 (758 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • I think she should be allowed to cut her hair most any way she pleases even at a younger age than 11. At the very least she should be given a few options with different hair styles so she can pick one for herself. Dyeing? No, my daughter will not be dyeing her hair until she can afford to do it herself (aka 16 or up). My DD will be able to wear some makeup freshman year in HS, like mascara, lipgloss, etc but nothing heavy.

    Children do need boundaries when they are young, but I do not believe in not giving them any options either. That will just cause them to sneak around IMO.

    I had a fantastic relationship with my Mom, but on the same note we had many freedoms as well. They weren't things we started doing at 9 or 10, but responsibilities that came to us as we aged and if we followed the rules and handled the responsibilities maturely, more came to us.

    Answer by Razelda at 12:10 AM on Feb. 12, 2011

  • i'm 21 and i still don't do any of that stuff. haha!

    i guess personally it's not my style. although as an "experiment" (one time) i did have natural colored streaks dyed into my hair around her age. but that was about it.

    maybe she can do lip gloss or something.. instead of doing full blown make up right away. kind of ease into it gradually?

    i personally think she may still be too young to make a habit of it all.. but idk. that's just me. i prefer the simple 'all natural' look.

    Answer by r.e.l.s.m.o.m. at 12:12 AM on Feb. 12, 2011

  • oh but i do agree with first poster about letting her have options to choose from when it comes to hair cuts/styles... i don't think that should be that big of a deal on it's own.

    Answer by r.e.l.s.m.o.m. at 12:14 AM on Feb. 12, 2011

  • I was always told if you allow kids to control what they wear and their hair (making their fashion statement) then they won't lean towards drugs or alcohol. Not sure if that still is true but I let my kids decide. My dad let me dye my hair when I was young (in the 60's) but it had to be done professionally or a temp rinse that washed out.

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:15 AM on Feb. 12, 2011

  • My girls have long curly GOOD hair :-) While the youngest is in 1st grade, she still gets her hair done by Mommy (I do let her chose how I do it. The oldest is in 6th (middle school here) She is allowed to express herself any way she long as it is age appropriate. She likes to mismatch things. Her clothes, she'll wear 2 different earrings & wear a bunch of little ponytails & braids in her hair. She also is into painting her nails all different colors (no black or bright reds yet). The only time I make her tone it down is for Church. They just cannot dye their hair or cut more than split ends off.

    Comment by darmika (original poster) at 12:35 AM on Feb. 12, 2011

  • @ OP - I just don't agree with that. She's probably gonna cut it off first thing when she turns 18, or shortly after if you never let her pick a style for herself and force her to keep it long. I think she should be able to wear her hair at any length she wishes, but that is me. She is old enough to know right from wrong, and a little trust can go a long way. It seems like you've given her other freedoms, but hair is one of the main things people notice when looking at someone. It is quite important. Why do you give her such restrictions with it? Merely asking!

    Answer by Razelda at 12:39 AM on Feb. 12, 2011

  • Male or Female... I allow my kids to do things, like dye hair, before they are adults and things of that nature are no longer allowed

    Answer by MommaClark3 at 12:41 AM on Feb. 12, 2011

  • i allow my girls to choose their own hairstyle/cut within reason. my youngest had the curliest hair when she was little but every time we brushed/combed it she would throw a fit and cry so we cut it. her curls never did come back(saddened me to). and then i was looking at her pictures the other day her hair darkened over time from light blond to a dirty dishwater blond but not as bad as her sisters. her sister got the curse of my natural hair. the oldest wants to dye her hair black and i told her no way. as for make up my tween wears light colored eye shadow,lip gloss and light colored blush once in a while which is a far cry from what her cousin her age does. the school counselor asked how the other girl was because she was wearing eye liner etc. i wore make up at my daughters age and probably wore it to dark because it was the 80s lol. i did not dye my hair until i was 13.


    Answer by WildCat73 at 8:01 AM on Feb. 12, 2011

  • does she act mature for her age ? do all her friends wear makeup ? are you going to buy it , or will she earn it ? I think its good to let them experiment with style , but at that age i think its a privledge not a right and wait on the hair dye till 15, 16 ....when they can get a job and pay for it themselves.

    Answer by nanafor5 at 9:06 AM on Feb. 13, 2011

  • that hard because times are changing i see 7 year olds with cellphones! when i grew up i didn't get to dye my hair untill i could afford it 16 or so and no makeup till freshman yr i was 15. But then my mom went with me helped me pick appropriate colors. my 10yr old step daughter gets to at moms but not w us at dads. Its rought. I agree give her boundaries but some liniency or she will rebel.

    Answer by mislis at 2:33 PM on Mar. 25, 2011

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