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2 Bumps

How do I begin to love myself?

I dont know how to write this but I will do the best I can, I am a mother of many and I began being an "adult" the minute my daughter was born back when i was 18 years old.. before that I was from a broken divorced family but at that time being ignorant also naive, I really thought that the good feeling i was feeling at the time with this guy was the answer to all my problems emotionally and little did I know this so called magic with this guy wouldnt last. The rebellious side of me would come afloat after a horrible argument with the guy. To this day my 2nd husband noticed these outrages i have are affecting our marriage and im actually at a point where i have no friends and i can not trust people anymore. I live for my children and love my husband but dont know how to love myself.. I want to make friends but dont know where or how? im very anti social but my kids are very successful,cheerleader/straight A's/leadership/love to volunteer at hospitals/basically everything im not! i sometimes feel i should learn from them but they are just beautiful inside and out and i dont feel that for myself.. i want help but dont want drugs or stupid overpriced therapy...I would appreciate any advice right about now...

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:17 AM on Feb. 12, 2011 in Religious Debate

Answers (11)
  • With an open heart, pray for help. God won't deny someone who is sincere. I will pray that your days become easier. My life has had many, many ups and downs. I was at one point in life suicidal . I would push religious people away from my life, thinking it was all a joke. I eventually gave the Lord a chance. I have never been happier since I learned about God.
    stenhouse_baby

    Answer by stenhouse_baby at 1:54 AM on Feb. 12, 2011

  • For me it helps to "stay in the moment". Future and past tripping is not a good thing. Focus on this moment and do not let negative thoughts occupy your mind, replace them with gratitude. It all is in the mind. Become aware of your thoughts and get out of your comfort zone and try new things. It's OK to not feel "comfortable " when you make changes.
    Look at it as a new game. See how many new and different things you can try. Hobbies, community ed. classes, crafts, bake for the neighbors,volunteer, join your church choir or whatever. . Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Just start making small changes. Congratulations on raising great kids. Good luck and feel free to add me as a friend. :-)
    LeJane

    Answer by LeJane at 2:30 AM on Feb. 12, 2011

  • The book by Joyce Meyer "Battlefield of the Mind" is very helpful and Beth Moore's "So Long Insecurity" . I am sure you can both of these at the library.
    Step out of yourself and do things for others: volunteer at the library, hospital, school, church and just be "you" and don't go into looking for a friend. People sense when we are needy and run real fast. Just be patient and soon you will see yourself as your children and family see. Don't compare your self to others, you are unique and special .
    Do you know Jesus? He is always there for us loves us beyond our comprehension. Talk to Him and let Him know your pain and how you choose to be different than you have been.
    Your rebellion is you protecting your self and doing just the opposite of what you want. Anger is based on fear and those books will give you insight in this area. Hugs to you and let tomorrow be a new day!!
    Librarylady60

    Answer by Librarylady60 at 11:14 AM on Feb. 12, 2011

  • I feel the same way once asked this question on here won't say what was said you got some good advice already what helpped for me was starting college even at my old age lol just find someone to talk to it helps even though i don't like to talk about myself i had to an it helped
    peace013

    Answer by peace013 at 1:51 PM on Feb. 12, 2011

  • You have to Love yourself always it's sometimes hard but if you don't love yourself who else will love you and therapy wont help if you dont know the deep seeded issues and deal with them.
    Everyday tell yourself one good thing about yourself and smile then the next day look at your good qualities (they are there) for example you raised beautiful educated children have a good husband that is always something good to love yourself about. Look at your body maybe your not 36-24-36 but love what you are. I am a full figured lady but have tons of confidence and that over shadow's my faws say how sexy you are and before you know it you will become a different person.
    Buy yourself something that makes you feel good get your nails done or hair even buy some sexy cloths and flaunt around in front of your husband that will make you feel good but it all must start with you.......LOVE YOURSELF FIRST.
    dusty1962

    Answer by dusty1962 at 6:23 PM on Feb. 12, 2011

  • Since LibraryLady suggested Battlefield of the Mind, may I suggest another one? The Power of a Confident Woman also by Joyce Meyer. Changed my life.
    popzaroo

    Answer by popzaroo at 8:29 PM on Feb. 13, 2011

  • You can start by looking in the mirror at yourself and say to your self I LOVE YOU. I have a montra that I say everyday, and it helps me.
    It goes: Ilove you, I'm sorry, please forgive me, thank you. I have some CDs that are positive feedback that I have to listen to in my sleep
    and they really work. Then start doing nice things for yourself, buy your self flowers once in a while, or go to the beauty shop once in a while.
    stitchintime

    Answer by stitchintime at 11:31 PM on Feb. 13, 2011

  • I agree with prayer, Battlefield of the Mind is an awesome book, and learn to forgive yourself as well. Through my struggles I learned I was downing myself more than anyone else in life and I could not forgive me even when everyone else did. I still have trouble with my past mistakes and i pray a lot, write, and try to stay positive. I wish you the best of luck and I feel much as you do as far as anti social, so you aren't alone.
    ConnectHearts

    Answer by ConnectHearts at 4:54 AM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • Do you attend church? It might be a great help to attend, hear God's word & make some friends of a godly woman or two--for support & for instruction. Also, a Bible study might help you a lot.
    suemayonline

    Answer by suemayonline at 7:04 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • I like to think of it this way (by the way, not a religious viewpoint exactly, something I came up with on my own, taylored to your story):
    God made me. Before birth, I was a soul, looking for my family. I had some choices for parents, which ones could I best bless...I saw my parents, and i loved them, even though I knew they had many problems. I came into the world, and remembered nothing of the days as a soul, except for the feeling of the presence of God, angels and saints. I was learning from my parents. I did my best as a child. My parents made their own decisions about life, which affected me. I didn't understand all their decisions, which made my decisions as an adult sometimes immature. I've done my best with what I've been given, and what I've chosen. I've been blessed with wonderful children and people who love me. I love my life and being alive. I love making the choices to make my life and my family's life better.
    ladymomtraveler

    Answer by ladymomtraveler at 8:35 AM on Feb. 16, 2011

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