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Would you get angry or not with mil?

I got back from taking care of my parents who are really sick for about a week. My hubby left his work phone home and sure enough his mom called on it. I tried to call her on her house phone and she was busy yapping away. So i finally got a hold of her and told her her son left his phone home. So then as the night went on I find out an acquaintance of the family had their father pass away. I went ot to dinner with my husband and son come back and sil who lives with my inlaws next door hears a noise. He goes to see and his parents are coming back from the wake and then hubby tells me he is going to the funeral.Why do you think mil is not telling me because she thinks I would get upset or just oversight? My dad is really sick and I have been commuting to see him. Today is my son birthday party and no one from my side is coming since I switched to have my inlaws over. What do you think?SHould I worry about this?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:32 AM on Feb. 12, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • Anger is a waste of energy, and the only person it hurts is yourself. If someone does something that you think is wrong, tell that person. What that person does about it is up to that person. We do not have the power to control what other people do, including our mothers-in-law. I don't think what has happened here is worth a second thought, and I would just let it go, turn it loose, and be done with it.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 7:55 AM on Feb. 12, 2011

  • I do not understand why you think you need to be upset. I do not understand why you could not have everyone for your son's birthday. I think you are overthinking everything. It is a lot going on right now. You do not have to react to everything. Just deal with what you can handle.
    tootoobusy

    Answer by tootoobusy at 7:41 AM on Feb. 12, 2011

  • It sounds like there is more going on here than you are telling us, or not enough room to tell your story. Remember, your family comes first. Don't worry about anyone else. I know it is hard sometimes.
    robinkane

    Answer by robinkane at 7:57 AM on Feb. 12, 2011

  • Some people just dont know the right things to say to offer comfort to you. It may also be they see their own mortality in your parents as well as the recent loss/funeral they attended. If you had a decent relationship w/ them prior to all this happening, I wouldnt worry about it. Besides, like some of the others said, you already have enough to worry about. Save your energy for the more important things. (*And make sure you allow yourself time to destress or unwind) GL
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 8:26 AM on Feb. 12, 2011

  • i do not understand why both sides cannot be their for your son birthday?
    WildCat73

    Answer by WildCat73 at 7:44 AM on Feb. 12, 2011

  • It is very hard. My brother is cargiving my parents for the weekend. I feel so torn. As for mil she is probably thinking that a funeral is the last place I want to go, but since I got back, things have changed. I feel as an afterthought with them.....
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:00 AM on Feb. 12, 2011

  • Thanks. I just called my mom and my father had a really rough night and my brother who was caregiving just told me to get off the phone with mom and he was so nasty. I do not want to wish this experince on anyone. The stress is unreal. I went 15 out of 30 days so I guess my brother got a small taste of what it is like. My mil is cool with me. I think she feels that it is not necessary for me to go to the funeral and that I have enough on my mind.I need to foucus on my son and husband, but I wish my inlaws would not be so anal with their son all the time. It is a little suffocating at times.I guess the stress of what s going on with my side of the family makes me laugh at how momma's boy my hubby is with his side. But overall I am accepting the and taking it all in with a grain of salt and not letting things get to me.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:32 AM on Feb. 12, 2011

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