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He's tight on money how am I the bad guy...

My fiance has a job that makes decent money but not as well as mines. I've always made about twice as much as him but him being him he always wants to pay when we go out. So we're having a baby and I went from full time to part time work because I have a manual labor job, which really didnt make a difference when it came to bills but it did when it came to going out. I understood this even though this was never my lifestyle, I just adapted. We dont go out to eat or anything. But when his friends want to go out he finds the money and asks if I want to go. Being pregnant and knowing they probably want to go to a bar or somewhere that will involve drinking, I decline and tell him to go ahead and have fun. I saved up money over the last few months as a surprise to take him out for his birthday to a restaurant slash arcade so it would be something more laid back because I invited family and drinking in front of my mom doesn't go over well. Well today one of my fiance's friends came over and called me uptight because I don't ever like to go out. He doesn't have the extra money, Why would I ask him to go out and spend money when I know he wont have gas to go to work next week. When I was single I went out almost every weekend. I adapted for his sake so he doesn't feel bad about it and now everyone's acting like his pockets are my fault. I don't get it.


Asked by thelovelymzbre at 11:52 AM on Feb. 12, 2011 in Relationships

Level 13 (1,326 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • in a relationship we do at times adjust ourselves for our significatn other i know believe me i do but i feel you should tell your s/o the truth and explain to him your reasons for not wanting to hang out as much...he should understand that you are only looking out your future and by spending excessive amount of money to go out is not a smart decision for your future

    Answer by bobbys4eva at 12:01 PM on Feb. 12, 2011

  • I wonder what business it is of your fiance's friends! As long as you both are happy w/ your arrangements, you dont need to ans. to any one else! Besides, they must be dense if they dont know you are pregant, your hours are cut, & you're saving $ for your new arrival & maternity leave.

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 11:57 AM on Feb. 12, 2011

  • Keep saying to yourself, ....''there's no place like home'', -----------, -----------------, ------------------, seriously it's a great idea to go arcade and have saved up $$ for that and now he is just out of money to show you he's boss, nothing else. IT' s a man thing.
    You aren't resonsible for how they handle their frequent nights out and if they do this it's on him and those friends. For you surprized or not by his overspending, it's not a fix - it to take him out, as much as to show him that you were thinking and planning,

    Answer by coffeeyum at 11:58 AM on Feb. 12, 2011

  • I will tell you RIGHT NOW .........DO NOT ADAPT FOR HIM. It should be a JOINT EFFORT.
    Down the road, you will grow resentful because you are the ONLY ONE sacraficing for HIM. You both need to be on the same page with finances. and my husband did the same thing, and now he wants everything handed to him and I'm the one that gets left behind, doesn't spend anything on myself and he TAKES ADVANTAGE OF IT.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:56 AM on Feb. 12, 2011

  • ~*Awe*~ ... sounds like ya have a REAL MAN, compared to the boys out there trying to play house??? A real man wants to be able to provide for you not live off you!!!! A real man wants to make you happy, not the other way around, because his happiness is found in yours!!!! Bless you for being so thoughtful towards/about him... he is blessed to have someone like you.... just need to open up the communication and remind him that if all cash was taken away and you lost your job he wouldn't love you any less, so why would you love him any less just because you happen to make more at this time... relationships are not about mine and yours, they are "ours"

    Answer by MommaClark3 at 11:58 AM on Feb. 12, 2011