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4 Bumps

Hmmm - lost adult content

Hi all

Its me again - I'm kinda lost here and I don't know what to do. As I've mentioned in the past, I'm not motivated, have no hobbies (I have some, but bored with them), no goals or missions, causes that I care about. I feel like I'm just a breadwinner for the kids, and one of them doesn't even appreaciate that. I feel like an empty shell - I wanted a bf, got one, and not sure if I want him now lol. I miss him when I'm not with him, but when I'm with him it doesn't feel right and I don't want to be around him. I know I'm looking for a fairy tale that doesn't exist - for everything in my life, and I don't know how to appreciate what I do have. I want something to focus on, to help give me meaning, but I don't know what that would be. Any suggestions?

(Sometimes I wish they would just lock me away, then I would have a legamit reason for doing nothing because Iwouldnt' be allowed LOL)

Man I sound like such a downer all the time on here - I'm very entertaining in "real life" but I have no true friends outside of work (once 5 comes around, I usually don't talk to them again until the next day type friends - they are married and ahve their own friends.)

Answer Question
 
autbot

Asked by autbot at 3:10 PM on Feb. 12, 2011 in Health

Level 16 (2,424 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • Why are you an empty shell? Maybe you could plan a family vacation and take some time off work and focus on finding some fun family things to do on a vacation with the kids?

    What goals did you have when you were younger, what were your interests? Photography? Gardening? Cooking? Writing? Maybe you could go back to one of those interests and see if you could do something with that.

    It sounds like you might need a friend to have a lunch with, not a co-worker. And maybe you are struggling with some feelings of depression and self worth?
    spottedpony

    Answer by spottedpony at 3:42 PM on Feb. 12, 2011

  • Family vacation is the last thing I need right now - lol. I'm having BIG BIG issues with the boy, and honestly, I can't stand to be in the same room with him for 10 mins right now, let alone spend 24 / 7 on a vacation. I wish it was different though - I would love to have a normal family, but that isn't in the cards right now.

    I really really want to work / own my own craft store or bakery. I'm drawn to baking, though I don't do it because a) I'll eat whatever I make and I'm about 50 pounds overweight and b) I don't have the kitchen space to do it. I have maybe a 2 x2' square of counter space to work on, and when I'm using the oven the kitchen table is holding the pans that was in the oven LOL. I've looked for baking classes around town, and all I can find are either cake decorating classes - already done them, or legit university classes which I can't afford, nor do I know if a "real" set of classes is what I want.
    autbot

    Comment by autbot (original poster) at 4:12 PM on Feb. 12, 2011

  • part 2 - ran out of room LOL - Yes, a real friend is what I need, I haven't had one in forever! I also have the itch to write, but I have no idea what to write - the fear of someone reading it always holds me back LOL. I'm just nuts I guess. LOL
    I think I just want some peace and harmony, and no chaos, but that isnt' going to happen any time soon in this household. I really want to run away and let someone else deal with it for awhile.
    autbot

    Comment by autbot (original poster) at 4:15 PM on Feb. 12, 2011

  • Everyone gets depressed and feels sorry for themselves so no worries...don't know yourself you have LIFE to be happy about and your health.
    Alot of people are sick and dying from something leaving there little ones and mates behind so love what you have and try and make the best of it as far as your man is concerned if you have any doubts about him then let him go. We live in a free war free country there could be worse things in life than being lonely and depressed...chen up and be happy your alive and healthy and have beautiful children who could as for more...
    dusty1962

    Answer by dusty1962 at 4:33 PM on Feb. 12, 2011

  • Sounds like you may be mildly depressed. If you think that might be the case than maybe you could talk to your doctor about options for treatment. Some people experience this during the shorter days of winter. Exercise lifts the spirit and makes you feel good, too.

    You mentioned writing but fear people reading it. One option is to write an anonymous blog that can't be tracked back to you...would that be an option?

    You also mentioned not wanting to go on vacation because of problems with your son. But sometimes quality time together, just the two of you, can make the situation better. Maybe you could focus on spending more time with your son, find something he enjoys and do it with him. You said you wished the situation was better. If you wish he was nicer to you, be nicer to him. If you wished he listened to you more, listen to him more.

    Hope things look up for you soon.
    struezel

    Answer by struezel at 9:38 PM on Feb. 12, 2011

  • There is a group on here for depressed mom's. maybe you can get help there. I suffer chronic depression and have for years. i know exactly how you feel. my meds help a lot and talking to someone too. you can talk to me if you want too. i would enjoy it. God Bless Diana
    Dianakk

    Answer by Dianakk at 9:19 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • I dont' know if its depression or the fact my son makes my life a living hell.
    autbot

    Comment by autbot (original poster) at 9:59 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • What kind of things are you interested in? I recently picked up quilting, but I'm from that type of background. And it's pretty expensive if you're like me and want to hoard fabric. lol You really do sound depressed- I used to feel sorta like that but I'm on meds now for Major Depressive Disorder and Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and they're trying to decide what to do about my OCD(that's where the hoarding comes in lol). I've been on meds for around 5-6 months, and it takes some time to feel better on them. I totally feel like a different woman! Maybe you should check into it?
    lovingmy4babies

    Answer by lovingmy4babies at 12:16 PM on Feb. 15, 2011

  • Joining a health club/Gym does wonder for one health. You might just want to looking into that. GL
    musicmom08

    Answer by musicmom08 at 10:26 AM on Feb. 17, 2011

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