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Does anyone else as grown adult strongly dislike their mother for all they put you through when you were younger?

I have been crying all day today, feeling like the kid that never had a good mother by her side. Well correction, I had a terrific mother as a young child but as soon as I hit teen years, she became a monster. She abused me mentally and physically. She made me feel like nothing, and made me become someone who has to deal without a lot of the side effects of growing up with her. Depression, trying to keep it all together to be a ten thousand times better mom to my kids then she ever was. It so hard. Mothers that raise their kids in such a evil manor, have woman that are forced to be tested and be stronger than the next woman because they have to over come the feeling of madness and depression because of their own mother.How do I stop hating her so much. Whats worse is she denies my feelings. Says it's is all a lie, that I am a liar, that she never did anything to me. So I guess it makes it ten times wors, when she is so freaking selfish she cant admit to who she was. Everyone thinks she is angel. Seriously, she comes off as this woman with grace, class, and total sanity...but my sister and I know the true colors of her soul. She makes me sick to my stomach. when she hugs me I feel gross, and I feel like she is fake. How do I over come this ladies, I am so lost, mad, angry, a big ball of emotions.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:42 PM on Feb. 12, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (17)
  • yes
    GlitteribonMom

    Answer by GlitteribonMom at 7:43 PM on Feb. 12, 2011

  • Do you mind if I ask why?
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 7:44 PM on Feb. 12, 2011

  • Hurt people tend to hurt people. I bet she battles depression too. I have a very troubling relationship with my mom. I try to give her space and find love and acceptance elsewhere.
    jazzgal

    Answer by jazzgal at 7:48 PM on Feb. 12, 2011

  • My mother could not handle the fact that I was 13 and developing, so she started telling me I was a slut. It all started one day when my Dad said I did a good job of cleaning the house while he worked. My mom used to do whatever with whoever.
    So I think mostly my Mom was trying to put her mess on me.
    I trell my DD that she is beautiful, but needs to stay celebate until she finds that good friend who cares for her as much as she cares for him. Some one who shows an interest in her life and hobbies.
    I havwe told my DH how my mom treated me. So I don't plan on repeating the pattern.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:49 PM on Feb. 12, 2011

  • i didnt have much of a mom as a kid and she was horrible as a teen. i hated her for a long time but i have learned to love myself...it took me a long time to discover myself. and when i found myself, i was able to forgive her. i wont forget..but i can atleast treat her as a human being as long as she shows me respect as an adult.
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 7:51 PM on Feb. 12, 2011

  • my and I meanded our wounds a while back. She has always been a great mother. We did however go through a rough streak when she and dad divorced. She drak heavily, started smoking cigs and took anti-depressants (often combined drinking and the pills). She slept all day and went on dates with different guys. My sister avoided it all by going to as many after school activites as she could. She also soon went off to college. She was a terrible role model for me so I started hanging with the "bad crowd" because they accepted me. Once I was in college mom moved to a different town in an apt and she started exercising, went to a movie once a week, she got a good job, she changed a lot and we got closer
    Owl_Feather

    Answer by Owl_Feather at 7:58 PM on Feb. 12, 2011

  • woops meant to write "my mom and I" lol
    Owl_Feather

    Answer by Owl_Feather at 7:59 PM on Feb. 12, 2011

  • I'm very salty about a lot of things that happened during my childhood, particularly my teenage years. I pretty much didn't want anything to do with her for a while. Then I had my first child and she changed and now I actually get along with her and have a good mother daughter relationship. Doesn't mean I'll forget the things that happened to me, but I can keep the past in the past.
    Nanixh

    Answer by Nanixh at 7:59 PM on Feb. 12, 2011

  • My parents split when I was still a very young baby. I was raised by my alcoholic, verbally, mentally and psychologically abusive father. My mother was never in the picture. As an adult twice she and I tried to make a relationship work and both times it failed. She would only call if she needed to borrow our car (her's was dying and VERY unreliable), or take advantage of us any other way. She has NO relationship with her two grandkids even though she's lived nearly next door for part of their lives. The final nails in her coffin were when she 1) had the audacity to accuse me of being a user just like her mother; only calling when *I* needed something and 2) when she got all pissy about the Christmas gift my sister and I pooled our money to get her, a new digital camera after hers had died. Her exact words: What made you think I wanted a new camera?
    Rosehawk

    Answer by Rosehawk at 8:02 PM on Feb. 12, 2011

  • My mom and dad got a divorce when I was one. they where cheating on each other when she got pregnant with me. I grew up knowing neither parent really wanted me. I have forgiven both parents for what they have done but I do not like their choices . I talk to my dad now(we started talking last year) found out my mother wouldn't let him know exactly where we were. My mom has always abused me she has photo's of everyone else on her walls but me. I had to move back in with her in 06 because my place had mold and termites I was paying all the bills . My older sister in her children moved in and only bought their groceries. My mother would tell everyone I thought i could live with her for free. I was hurt @ work and my hrs were cut . but her bills got paid mine neglected. Last year in feb. she attacked me my little one called 911 and because she was 65 I went to jail. because they wouldn't press charges she threw a fit
    princesschilly

    Answer by princesschilly at 8:04 PM on Feb. 12, 2011

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