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Loving two men..Long

So the very short story is I love two men and I am pretty sure I know which one i am IN love with. but it still doesnt help my confusion on which path and relationship I should choose.

Relationship A. Is my current boyfriend..we've been together for about 1.5 years and have a child together. We met and fell in love instantly. BUT our relationship has been really rocky..from beginning till now. He has an ex wife that is really jealous of him moving on (even tho She cheated on him their entire marriage and is still with the guy he cheated on him with). They have 3 children together, one of which is deceased. He is an alcoholic..was when we moved intogether (currently 5 months sober)..we fought alot..about anything and everything. Well his ex wife basically terrorized and harrassed me our entire relationship. May is when everything just fell apart and I gave up, moved out and moved 2000 miles away. I was 15 weeks pregnant then. We tried to keep our relationship goin on the phone and it didnt come easy. there were countless cruel fights and arugements and slowly he stopped talking to me. I gave birth to our son in Nov. and he wasn't there but we talked on the phone. During this Time is when I met Relationship B. They were bestfriends..and We just kinda happened.

Relationship B. He was there for me, talked to me when I hit rock bottom and I didnt even want to drag myself outta bed. Talkin to him everyday I was finally happy again, I felt happy which I hadn't in so long. We had this instant and knock you on ur a$$ connection. Even though we've never met face to face I feel like i've known him my whole life. Hes the kinda man I've been looking for, sweet, considerate, romantic and loving. He's funny as hell and no matter how pissed off or hurt I am he can always bring a smile to my face. When I don't talk to him my whole world feels off..like it doesn't make sense without him.

I know most of you right now are probaly going..well you didnt say half that about Relationship A. and I know that. It's not that he's NOT any of those things..it's just that he hasnt been in a long time. He used to make me laugh and made me feel secure and that I was loved and its gone now.

But relationship B. didnt go well either..we decided to date each other in Dec...two weeks in and he left me for another girl. Who happened to be living with him and I didnt know. It changed everything..How I viewed him and how I felt. But we couldnt stop feeling so deeply for each other and the next thing I knew she moved out and he was begging for me back. I( know she left because I know alot of people who live around him and have told me so). We havent gotten back together but we've discussed it. I told him hes gonna have to prove himself..that he really wants to be with me and admit to the reasons hes a cheater/player and hes done it. Really stepped up and became better..as far as I know.

Come March I am moving back to where I used to live..where these two men currently live and live across from one another. The plan was to move home to relationship A. so we could work on our problems and our family. But since relationhisp B came into the picture Idk if I want that anymore. My feelings have changed. They both broke my heart at some point, hurt me so deeplly i still carry the wounds and i live with it but never truly forget it.

But I love them and they really are the only men i can see myself marrying and having families with. I wish lol that I could have them both. that I could split myself..I know they both can make me happy and we could have any amazing life. I just don't know who i really want. I am pretty sure I am in love with B. but the grown up part of me is like relationships take work and after 1.5 yrs and a child why should I just walk away from A cuz it hasn't worked? it takes work and commitment. But B. makes me WANT to start over..ahh idk. what do you ladies think? Please do not be rude or excessivly mean.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:37 PM on Feb. 12, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • to me relationship b sounds like ou a rebound you put it like if she hadn't not have left they would be together but soon they leave he beggin ou i would just leet them both go an start over
    quetta669

    Answer by quetta669 at 8:53 PM on Feb. 12, 2011

  • b Has already proved to you who he is, I think you see that, hopefully. A dosent sound like it would be good to get back with unless you both did therapy. You say you cant see yourself without atleast one of the 2 in your life and being married to them. I strongly suggest you dont be in any realationships until you can enter one healthy. Knowing where your boundaries are and not settling for less.
    okmommy08

    Answer by okmommy08 at 9:10 PM on Feb. 12, 2011

  • Drop them both. Learn to be happy by yourself. Find a new guy but don't count on him to make you happy.
    JackieGirl007

    Answer by JackieGirl007 at 9:31 PM on Feb. 12, 2011

  • I don't think either guy is going to be healthy for you and your child. I would not move back to that town.
    slw123

    Answer by slw123 at 9:40 PM on Feb. 12, 2011

  • instead of moving back to your old town, why don't you stay where you are at and figure yourself out first. obviously you love two men but there is just too much drama in your life and in their's. why do women think they need a man in their life all the time to be complete. women are strong and can deal with stuff. be independent from men for awhile and concentrate on you and your child for now. enjoy it. nothing better and then when you are happy with yourself then proceed to find someone or date and enjoy it. there shouldn't be a rush for you to go back.
    lucky35

    Answer by lucky35 at 4:58 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • Um neither neither. Move on and make yourself happy before entering another relationship.
    gapeach7212

    Answer by gapeach7212 at 8:37 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

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