Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

4 Bumps

What to do...what to do?

Another mother (which makes me feel like she's always TRYING to find a reason for her kids not to play with mine) asked me the other day if I let my kids curse. I told her no. Told her how they reprimand me for saying "stupid" since they think its also a bad word.

She then tells me that she doesn't WANT to start drama, but if she were in my shoes she'd want to know. Followed by telling me that my 8 year old is a bad influence on her 12 year old b/c she told her what some other girl said.

I wasn't letting the "drama" get to me. Told her thanks for letting me know and I moved on. I confront my daughter who knows bad words are not acceptable. My 8 year old tells me that she repeated what some other "friend" called her 12 yr old friend. Said she called her a bi... (she didn't finish the word, didn't spell it out to it's entirety) as she knows she's not suppose to say bad words. She wanted her friend to know what the other "friend" kept calling her behind her back.

Honestly, my child didn't SAY a bad word...she just wanted her friend to know what was being said behind her back. So, I see no need to punish my child. This mom messages me ans asks if I put soap in her mouth and how she's not sure if her kids could be around such language... -rolls eyes-

Would you see a need to punish the 8 year old? Would you think its enough reason to let the kids NOT be friends over such idiotic drama? I put up with it so my kids could have friends...but this mom is trying to find ANY reason for the kids to stop being friends. Opinions needed...

Answer Question
 
Imortlmommy

Asked by Imortlmommy at 11:57 PM on Feb. 12, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 19 (7,592 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • your child was right to try to inform her friend of what others were calling her behind her back and the other mom is just trying to cause drama.
    macks_mommy

    Answer by macks_mommy at 12:01 AM on Feb. 13, 2011

  • ~*Smiles*~... sometimes the adult behave worse than the kids... let it slide off your back, and if she keeps up the drama, just slow down how much they play? Sucks kids can suffer for the actions of ignorant adults!
    MommaClark3

    Answer by MommaClark3 at 12:03 AM on Feb. 13, 2011

  • Wow! Sounds like she's just trying to start something because she is bored.
    I would not punish the 8 yr old for a thing!! She did nothing wrong but look out for her friend and tried to give her a heads up. The mom may be more upset that her daughter is being talked about like that and the easy target is your child.
    If the kids hang out a lot I can see how it would be hard but if they only hang out once in a while or only see each other at school I think I would just brush it off. It sounds to me like your parenting is well rounded
    ReneeLRS

    Answer by ReneeLRS at 12:05 AM on Feb. 13, 2011

  • No, she was trying to be a good friend by telling her friend what was being said behind her back. But, had your daughter not said anything, the little girl wouldn't have known any better and life would have continued in blissful ignorance lol
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:05 AM on Feb. 13, 2011

  • I would not deal with that and I don't think you should punish your child for that. You can always find new friends for your child to hang out with, atleast until this other mom stops being judgemental and annoying. Until then try to make excuses to your daughter why they can't hang out without letting too much info out where your child might tell her child something that her mom might not like. Children will be children and they will repeat things and especially if they are girls they will gossip even if they don't mean any harm by it. As long as your little girl knows not to say bad words and you are teaching her not to say them then you don't need to deal with the other mom trying to criticize your parenting skills.
    kayaiden8907

    Answer by kayaiden8907 at 12:06 AM on Feb. 13, 2011

  • No punishment for your little girl, she was just trying to be a good friend.
    autbot

    Answer by autbot at 12:08 AM on Feb. 13, 2011

  • The 12 yr old 's mother is only trying to start something. I could understand her being concerned if her daughter was 5, but that isn't the case. You daughter was only trying to inform her of what is being said behind her back. If the other mother's daughter thinks that her daughter doesn't use the word at all, she must be stuck in her own little world. She's 12, I guarantee that she says other words to her friends when she's not around. She's almost a teenager, mom needs to realize that her daughter is growing up.
    amessageofhope

    Answer by amessageofhope at 12:13 AM on Feb. 13, 2011

  • this mom is being idiotic. my daughter is allowed to say a "bad" word when she is telling me what someone else said. Beside that, I am not sure how many 8 year olds would know that word. But even though your daughter may lose a friend in this, it may just be the best thing to sever the friendship. If this is how the mother acts, then the daughter is more than likely to follow in her footsteps and someday start making stuff up when trying to protect herself.
    momma2grlz

    Answer by momma2grlz at 1:18 AM on Feb. 13, 2011

  • I agree that this mom seems to be wanting to start drama. Your daughter did nothing wrong.
    JZ10FPM

    Answer by JZ10FPM at 1:33 AM on Feb. 13, 2011

  • I think this is a good lesson for your daughter on the old adage, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." She didn't use a bad word the way this other mom is indicating, but she did get involved when it was unnecessary . I would discuss that with her instead of the language, which is really not the issue.

    You are probably right, trust your instincts. If this other mom wants to find a reason to terminate the friendship, then you are best to let it go before she creates something more problematic for your daughter's reputation. I think you should encourage your daughter to find some different friends.



    spottedpony

    Answer by spottedpony at 1:57 AM on Feb. 13, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.