so my hubby and i have known eachother for 9 years now since we were 16 years old. almost all of our friends are mutual from highschool. they are all fully aware that we are married and have 3 children, and that its not exactly possible for us to go out a lot these days.
last night we had a sitter, and used the opportunity to have dinner just the two of us for Valentines Day. we had planned afterward to hang out with some of those highschool friends but it was too early for them to go out apparently. so we went to his coworkers friends house and hung out with him and his girlfriend for a while. 1030 rolled around and both of us were tired, so we went home.
around 11, my friend said he was on his way to the bar. so i told him well its late for us and were going to bed. i do have to go shopping this morning before i pick up the kids and i plan to pick them up early. besides, the last thing i want to do is be tired & hungover when i have 3 kids to take care of today. and sleep is my greatest desire! anyway, he actually got mad and said, "whatevs" and dropped the conversation. then my other friend texted me at like midnight and she said, "if you have a sitter for all 3 why arent you coming out?" i didnt get the text til this morning but it just made me feel like.. wow. its not our fault that they didnt even get to the bar til 11 pm. sitter or not when you have a family youre used to going to bed at a certain time and certainly used to this lifestyle. they just made me feel like shit, like we were old or something. when really its about maturity, i think.
i know theyre single and just dont get it. just as i cant comprehend not even getting to the bar til 11 or 12 and staying out til 3 am and sleeping til noon the next day. but sometimes i feel like it puts conflict on our friendships. do you have friends like this and how do you handle it when they criticize you for being responsible!?
Answer by 2BlondeBabies at 8:30 AM on Feb. 13, 2011
Sound like you and your friends are going in two different directions in life. Single people and married people with kids have different priorities in life. Don't let it bother you. You might want to find some friends who are more like you.
Answer by louise2 at 8:58 AM on Feb. 13, 2011
Answer by Bmat at 9:17 AM on Feb. 13, 2011
Answer by aeneva at 8:27 AM on Feb. 13, 2011
I went through this same thing when my kids were little. My DH and I were the only one with kids and we have 3 children as well. When we would get a baby sitter it was for us to go out together. Finally one New Years Eve this became really bad and I had to tell my friends, I would rather spend New Years Eve with my children than go out with all of you. This didn't go over well and my DH and I ended up making new friends over the years. Now my children are 13, 11, and 9. DH and I have a great group of friends who have children and understand what it is like to have to cancel at the last minute or going to dinner early. Your friends from HS will get it once they have children, if they ever have them. Our friends from HS now have little kids and they understand more. They get that you can't stay out til 3 AM when you have to take care a 1 year old!
Good Luck and try not to let it bother you!
Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 8:37 AM on Feb. 13, 2011
Answer by gemgem at 8:53 AM on Feb. 13, 2011
Answer by Hope4Teal at 9:31 AM on Feb. 13, 2011
Answer by Scuba at 9:54 AM on Feb. 13, 2011
Answer by admckenzie at 10:45 AM on Feb. 13, 2011
Answer by rpetullo at 3:39 PM on Feb. 13, 2011