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Friend brought a interesting question to the table last night adult content

She asked me since her husband seems to be unable to do anything for her three girls and would rather not raise them , says if he were to leave her ever he would take the kids and have others in his family to raise them. people who are only out for the money. she asked if she was to die and had a will written stating that he has anger issues, doesn't get along with the kids. has medical issues that make him unstable. can she put in her will that she wants her kids to go to his dad and her mom to share custody. and would it be honored especially with her husband history. i told her i am not lawyer and i do not know. Does anyone know if her wishes would be granted? Her kids are 8,9, and 4


Asked by WildCat73 at 10:50 AM on Feb. 13, 2011 in Relationships

Level 23 (16,374 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • I don't know but she can talk to a lawyer who offers a free consultation.

    Answer by Simplicity3 at 10:52 AM on Feb. 13, 2011

  • She can put whatever she wants in the will and a judge might look at it as what she wanted and why, however biological parents have the rights above any grandparent according to the laws in most states. Grandparents generally have no rights. In states where they do it is only in the case of death of one bio parent and then only for visitations. She would need to have documented proof to give the people so when they go to court they are armed and might have a better chance at custody.

    Answer by gemgem at 10:52 AM on Feb. 13, 2011

  • I think he would have to sign over (or loose) his parental rights before the kids would be place with a grandparent if she were to die.

    Answer by scout_mom at 10:54 AM on Feb. 13, 2011

  • It would be taken to court I can tell you that. She can state who she would want to have custody..but since they are married there probaly be no way in hell it would be awarded without a fight in which the parents would have to do.

    Unless hes abusive it doesn't matter if he has anger issues or medical problems. If that were the case I guarantee you alot of men or woman wouldnt have custody.

    If they were divorced when she passed then yes most likely (if she had FULL or SOLE custody) t they would grant her wishes and her ex husband would have to take it to court if he wanted the kids.

    Answer by SweetPoison at 10:54 AM on Feb. 13, 2011

  • I think it depends on who she has as power of attorny and when her will is written. I also think it has been documented that he has these issues she may have a case. I am not totally sure if she is still married if that makes a difference. I would tell her to go to a lawyer.

    Good Luck!

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 10:55 AM on Feb. 13, 2011

  • I understand that kids are not possessions and they cannot be granted like a piece of furniture. But I believe that her thoughts and wishes would be considered or viewed.
    People change after a huge trauma like death.

    Answer by tootoobusy at 11:00 AM on Feb. 13, 2011

  • She can put whatever she wants in a Will concerning custody of the children and most judges WILL follow it. She needs to document EVERYTHING her husband does so it shows a pattern of behavior. Dates, times, what happened, who was there. Also, she needs to talk to an attorney who has experience with child custody.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 11:05 AM on Feb. 13, 2011

  • A judge would have to look into that. But they probably wouldnt go along with her wishes. They would probably question why she was still with him, if he is so angry and unstable.

    Answer by BabyBugsmama at 11:08 AM on Feb. 13, 2011

  • I think she needs to leave him now and get a good lawyer to prove him unfit..or at least she get sole custody. Stir the pot and get him some help (documentation). Get it done before she dies. I believe that is the best thing she can do for her kids. Possibly may help not be thinking about dieing. I would make sure my friend was o.k. and not depressed and thinking about suicide. Offer my friendship and help her feel empowered and stronger. Make sure she understands she has choices.

    Answer by Momforhealth at 11:18 AM on Feb. 13, 2011

  • I work for a lawyer which is why I am posting anon. He does family law. Situations like these have come up in the practice over the years. Unfortunately grandparents do not have rights to their grandchildren in any state. They do have the right to petition the courts for visitation if one of the parents is deceased and the living parent is not allowing those visits. In those cases however the grandparents have to show they had a good ongoing relationship with the grandchildren, or visits can be denied there too. It really does not matter what she places in her will, the rights of the biological father would trump the grandparents rights in family court. Plain and simple. The will would however help if the grandparents wanted a form of visitation or joint custody. He would however have full custody of his biological children, just as she would if he died.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:24 AM on Feb. 13, 2011