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Parents putting me down.. constantly saying im broke!?

Ok who would really be ok with that?

I am single mom of a 3yr old living on my own. I graduated college witha bachelors in accounting making a decent amount of money. My parents are always telling me I'm broke and poor and struggling..which I am not! They compare me to my cousin who is 26 (same age as me) that she has money because she lives at home and I don't. This morning as every morning she calls then starts saying how sorry she is for me because I'm so broke. Then she says 'why don't you like it when people say your broke with no money" I said I don't like it because its putting me DOWN!! My home is very nice, completlyy furnished (she has yet to come to my home) my daughter has everything and more and we are far from broke and struggling.. It makes me sick! I remember growing up being told that I will never amount to anything and will just be an embarrasment. This hurts! Mostly because she's my mom.

My sister wants to come visit for school break(they live in a differennt state) I told her I would pay half her ticket (which was 400) and ask my father to put the other half. When she called and told him he replied by saying your sister never havs money there's no way she can afford to buy partial ticket for you because she's so broke.. I was pissed whn I heard that and said forget it and I just bought the whole ticket for her. I want to go visit them and told my mom and she was like you'll never be abel to afford to come because you have no money and people with money are the ones that can travel.. Mind you I moved out of state since 2009 and I made several trips to see them with my child.. I'm so done with them putting me down.. They talk to others about me putting me down that my whole family puts me down..

How do I deal? I'm just feel like limiting communication with them.. Am I wrong? And I being too sensitive?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:44 PM on Feb. 13, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • You know what they are doing is wrong, you know it is not true, let them live in their make believe world, all that counts is that you know the truth!

    Answer by older at 1:50 PM on Feb. 13, 2011

  • My mom is kinda that way. Compared to my mom and dad I am broke, but compared to other families we are middle class through and through. She used to actually tell me she was embaressed to tell her friends I was a SAHM because all of their dd's went to college and were lawyers etc. How I had a degree and just wasted the time on it to throw it away staying home. She even told me how she advised my uncle to make his dd not get married bc she would have kids and be a sahm like me wasting a degree.
    SOO my advice having lived through this is to ignore them. Pay your own way like you always do. Eventually people will come to realize they are wrong about their assumptions. It happened to my mom. After years of her being embarrassed she had one friend tell her my job was better then any other job on earth and she should applaud me not judge me.

    Answer by gemgem at 1:52 PM on Feb. 13, 2011

  • This exact reason is why I have told my parents I want nothing to do with them and will they please stop contacting me. You have every right to be happy in your life, and now that you're an adult you can pick and choose who you have interactions with and who you don't. Yes, it's hard, and yes, it hurts to cut your own parents out of your life, but if they make you feel like then why let them? Love your child and break this cycle of verbal abuse. :)

    Answer by Rosehawk at 2:05 PM on Feb. 13, 2011

  • I'm a older woman who can say to you: Don't let anyone put you down. You do your best and that's it. Be Proud of your self and what you do & have.You only live life once so enjoy it. BE HAPPY !

    Answer by Granny995 at 2:10 PM on Feb. 13, 2011

  • ~*Hugs*~... as long as you are happy with your life, the quality of life (not quantity), than that is all that matters. Everything material wise can fade away and what is “real” is all that will matter!!! Like your relationship with your daughter, education of you and her, and fruit of the foundation you are build from today forward…

    If others are hell bent on being miserable and making other feel as they do… let them stew in their own Shhh

    Answer by MommaClark3 at 2:11 PM on Feb. 13, 2011

  • As an outsider looking in I can tell you that your parents don't even deserve to have a daughter like you. You're a college educated single parent. That's a pretty big accomplishment! Being a parent and working is hard enough. You don't need other people bringing you down. Also, it's probably not healthy for you daughter either. I'm not saying you should cut off all ties, but if they say anything negative just hang up. Let it be motivation for the relationship you will have with your daughter. Good luck to you.

    Answer by rpetullo at 3:27 PM on Feb. 13, 2011

  • I'm sorry it's that way for you. Have you just come right out and asked them what makes them think you are broke and why they feel it's their business to discuss?

    Answer by misses_nick at 5:13 PM on Feb. 13, 2011

  • WHATTT!! This is insane! What are your parents millionaires? Compaired to them I would be broke too. But the thing is, no matter how much money I have or don't have, the love and happiness I have in my family is wonderful. Rise above your parents judgmental ways. I would say something about all this. It isn't their buisiness how much money someone has or doesn't have.

    Answer by MKSers at 7:00 PM on Feb. 13, 2011

  • I would say it once and leave it at that. Tell them you're "not broke" and are doing just fine financially. Sounds like they really have a hangup and need to get over it. If they repeat the phrase again, I'd steer clear from them for awhile until they get the message. Seems they are really sounding like a broken record. You're financial situation is your personal business and as long as you are not dependent upon them in that area, they need to keep their rude comments to themselves. Best wishes!

    Answer by etexmom at 9:35 AM on Feb. 14, 2011

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