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It's all about perception...

DD1 (2yo) and I were out grocery shopping and running a couple other errands today (3 total). She was very well behaved until the last leg of our trip which happened to be grocery shopping.

As we were checking out she wanted to hold something that was not ours & I was not buying. I said we would think about playing w/the other item another time and gave her the toy she brought into the store. She became very upset, threw herself on the floor, and screamed and cried. I picked her up and put her in our basket as by this time we were holding up the line. She proceeded to kick the two bags that were in the basket and then started throwing things out of the cart.

I continued pushing the basket to get us out to the car, but in the meantime I sternly stated that good girls did not behave this way and asked her to sit down. Of course that was refused twice and I became upset. I was stern but spoke to DD quietly about being a good girl. Many people were looking but that was most likely due to the ear splitting tantrum taking place as we were leaving. Or was it? I am wondering if the general perception was something along the lines of "she needs to discipline that child", or maybe "my kid wouldn't be behaving that way", or "She's being too stern with that child". You get the idea. What would you think? How do you view yourself and your parenting from the outside looking in to know if you are too strict/demanding or too soft/lenient?

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WeRPhamily

Asked by WeRPhamily at 2:13 PM on Feb. 13, 2011 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 5 (88 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • Hun, worry about solving the problem at hand and not about other people perception, life will be a lot more pleasant this way.
    older

    Answer by older at 2:15 PM on Feb. 13, 2011

  • Personally, I would be thinking, "Looks like someone needs a nap." I have 17 month old, and he is normally well behaved until he gets tired, that's when he throws the tantrums. I try not to judge people pr their parenting styles in passing, like in a grocery store.
    mommy_jules

    Answer by mommy_jules at 2:19 PM on Feb. 13, 2011

  • *or
    mommy_jules

    Answer by mommy_jules at 2:20 PM on Feb. 13, 2011

  • I never worry about why others are looking at me or the kids when they meltdown. My granddaughter is a 2 yr old and she acts all of 2 and we recently had something similar happen at walmart. I dont worry much with other people and try and concentrate on the child. If someone thinks anything bad of you thats their problem.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 2:23 PM on Feb. 13, 2011

  • I probably would have though "one errand too many" and baby had had a short fuse. I don't like the "good girl" thing, I generally say "I know you are frustrated and tired. We were out too long for you. It's okay we are going home now."
    amileegirl

    Answer by amileegirl at 2:24 PM on Feb. 13, 2011

  • When I see a mom with a child throwing a tantrum I only think poorly of them if they over react, yell, or do something else like that. If they calmly react and I see they are talking to the child and not totally ignoring them I think 'good parneting'. AND my heart goes out to them.... we have all been there done that.

    sahlady

    Answer by sahlady at 2:24 PM on Feb. 13, 2011

  • ~*Giggles*~... what others doesn't mean a thing!!! In all honesty most of those who do feel the need to place their head up your Arse can't handle their own homes much less that of a stranger they don't even know...much less the entire situation!

    Hell, most people we as people ask for advice can't fix their problems yet we think they can fix ours... and vice versa!!!

    Don't sweat the small stuff
    MommaClark3

    Answer by MommaClark3 at 2:24 PM on Feb. 13, 2011

  • No matter what you do or how you handle a situation you can't control the way people perceive you. That is based on their reality and how they perceive life. You are not responsible for the other people in the store. The general public does not raise your child you do. You need to treat yourself and your child with compassion. And I have seen more of adults having meltdowns in grocery store screaming at the cashier, fighting over prices, holding up the line and talking loudly on cells phones than children. Enjoy your daughter even on bad days.
    bekej

    Answer by bekej at 2:26 PM on Feb. 13, 2011

  • Sometimes people will view it in a negative way if you allow your child to behave in an unreasonable way that disrupts evreyone. For instance if youre in church and your kid starts acting out the proper thing to do is remove the child. Unfortunately there are a lot of mother's out there that dont have any regard for others.
    karen40b42day

    Answer by karen40b42day at 2:44 PM on Feb. 13, 2011

  • Well, I'll be honest.. pre kids I probably would have thought "wow, someone needs to discipline that child"
    at two kids I would have thought "my kids would never act that way"
    Now, at 5 kids... two things would run through my mind "must be nap time" and "thank god its not my kid this time"

    So I am sure you had several people looking at you thinking several different things.... the only thing that mattes is that you were dealing with it the best you could.
    daughteroftruth

    Answer by daughteroftruth at 3:05 PM on Feb. 13, 2011

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