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7 Bumps

Gender Roles

Someone asked what the biggest stumbling blocks were for balancing work and parenting... someone else (anonymous) answered that no one else picks up the slack as much as she would if it was the other way around... That's probably true for allot of women!!

She elaborated saying: "women have been able to adapt and take on previously dominated male gender roles yet the male of our species has not yet evolved and we (women) feel the brunt of that."

... Now, I am all for women being in whatever career they want. I have one SIL who's a high-powered lawyer and her husband is a work-from-home Dad... So they have what I consider "non-traditional" roles and I see how much they thrive in that situation.

So - I think ALL people should be able to choose the path in life that fits them best.

However, why is it that anyone would expect an entire gender to "evolve" ... why can't we accept them, and ourselves, as we are? Why is there this angst about being "more than" our mothers, grandmothers, and 100s of generations before them? Were they not good enough?

Answer Question
 
angelm523

Asked by angelm523 at 3:12 PM on Feb. 13, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Level 16 (2,688 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • two things come to mind...


    1) why cant some of these "men need to evolve" woman accept when woman WANT to stay home and live the traditional role.  I said 'some' because some, and it seems to be the very vocal ones, are all about women's rights and then cant accept when a woman exercises her rights to stay home.


    2) I think men NEED to be men.  A 'real' man WILL do what is needed to make a home run... but why do some, again it seems to be the same gals, need them to evolve?  As I said a "real' man will do what is needed to make a house a home... it is instinctual.  But if a woman cant handle a real man and chooses a wuss because she needed to have that superiority thing going, instead of a partnership.  Then she will ALWAYS have issues with him not doing what she feels is needed... because she choose poorly.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:23 PM on Feb. 13, 2011

  • I like my path. I like my parenting role, too. I am a working SAHM, and I do most of the traditional mother roles--laundry, child care, organizing all aspects of our lives, etc. My husband makes the money, provides the insurance and financial benefits and does his share of the work. Sometimes. Okay, not much but I like things my way anyway!
    SnapdragonSMT

    Answer by SnapdragonSMT at 3:27 PM on Feb. 13, 2011

  • I do not believe in gender specific roles. I accept people as they are and the role they choose to have. A real man is a person who is responsible, compassionate, a partner, and does what needs to be done for those that rely on him. A real woman: see difinition for a real man.
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 5:10 PM on Feb. 13, 2011

  • i think in the end the answer lies in a time we dont want to think we are like, but in many ways we still are....the hunter/gatherer....the men will always want to be the hunter, bring back the big game, and feem proud of himself, and wants his woman and children to feel the same way.... true, the women's part is important, the food she finds are good, but not quite as filling as the big animal the men bring in. But, if he brings in no big animal to eat, what the women have found seem pretty darn good, and the male feels ashamed.... he would rather bring in meat and do better than the woman....than bring in the same and be equal to the women....so instead he would rather spend time reeling in the big stuff and be better than bring in the same as a woman, and have the other men laugh at him...... also think tho in our time and age, men and women should be equal and know how to do everything to live on their own if they had to
    mamajojo024

    Answer by mamajojo024 at 11:14 PM on Feb. 13, 2011

  • we can not live without each other, in the most general terms if we go back to the hunter/gatherer we women would have no meat to cook if the men did not hunt...and the men would not know how to cook it if the women were not there, so i dont think it is fair to say men must do this, and women must do that, i believe it takes what it takes to do what needs to be done! :)
    mamajojo024

    Answer by mamajojo024 at 11:18 PM on Feb. 13, 2011

  • What irks me in my house is that dh seemingly does not see what needs to be done, or does not show initiative in doing it. I assume he is capable of independent initiative, since he receives praise for that in the workplace. I don't feel like I'm not accepting of his gender if I wish he would get his socks in the damn hamper, or realize all on his own that if I'm out buying groceries it would be helpful to put the clothes in the dryer when the washing machine dings! It's not a matter of evolution... it's a matter of asking him to pay attention and put a little effort in! I'm a SAHM during the week, work weekends about half the time, and am in college part time... plus I take care of the kids, help with the homework, do 3/4 of the housework, get the kids to activities, and do most of the do it yourself projects- but I'm not trying to be 'more than' anyone. I am just doing what needs to get done for things to function well.
    Freela

    Answer by Freela at 12:01 AM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • i agree op
    san78

    Answer by san78 at 4:48 AM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • I think it has NOTHING to do with evolution. Men don't need to evolve, society does. Society is what dictates gender roles and our society is stuck thinking men being feminine is wrong. Society needs to evolve to accept feminine men.
    purpleducky

    Answer by purpleducky at 8:03 AM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • I don't think either should have to be something they don't choose to be. If a woman chooses to be high powered, great! If a man chooses to stay home - good for him. And should they choose to hold more traditional roles that's fine too. BUT, I think ALL of them, regardless of what they choose to be, need to come to terms with the fact that everyone should have the same right to choose as they do. To me, THAT is the flaw, not what people choose for themselves to do, but the fact that many feel everyone else should do as they do simply because it's how they feel things "should be."
    SabrinaMBowen

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 7:45 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • Honestly men don't care enough about a clean house to clean it, unlike a women who feels its important to have a clean home, not always but most times.

    My husband likes a clean home but not enough to clean it lol.

    whoreallycares

    Answer by whoreallycares at 5:35 AM on Feb. 15, 2011

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