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Moving to a new house -- what child should get to pick their room first?

I have a 19 yo step daughter (thats with us for 3 days a week), 8 and 7 yo bio daughters -- we are moving to a new house -- there are two smaller rooms and one large room. The 19 yo has stated that the large room is hers -- the two younger ones want to share a room and the smaller rooms don't really accomodate a bunk bed or 2 twin beds.... the transition for the smaller children will be much more difficult (uprooting them from school and friends) - the teen is in college and has her friends there... dad has agreed with the teen that she gets the bigger room without discussing with me!!!!!! I am trying to come up with a creative/non-argument instigating way to diffuse this and let the little ones choose first -- they already voiced, to me, that they are mad that the 19 yo gets to pick first and picked the biggest room! Any advice????

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Asked by ktthatsmeinca at 3:22 PM on Feb. 13, 2011 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 5 (64 Credits)
Answers (19)
  • A) no one gets to "pick" a room. Rooms are assigned.
    B) the ADULT CHILD needs to get over it, since she is there less than 1/2 of the week.

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 3:23 PM on Feb. 13, 2011

  • I think that you should try to reason with the 19 year old 'adult'. If not explain to your husband that the younger girls will adjust to the move better if they can be together in the larger room.

    Answer by bekej at 3:26 PM on Feb. 13, 2011

  • We never got to pick our own rooms as kids when we moved. I got the biggest because I was the oldest, my sister and I would always get the basement rooms (the houses we lived in always had 2) and my other sister and brother would get the upstairs rooms.
    But in your case, I would definitely say the ones who are sharing should get the bigger room - you have to fit 2x the stuff in there, so it just makes sense. The 19 year old is only there 3 days a week... it shouldn't really matter if she's got a smaller room.

    Answer by AdensMama0308 at 3:28 PM on Feb. 13, 2011

  • Don't know if it is possible but knock down the wall between the 2 smaller rooms and make one large room for the younger girls to share? My parents just bought a house and that is one of the first things they did to make their bedroom larger. It took them a couple of days to do it themselves and it was very cheap. If that isn't an option...I would say the 2 younger ones should get the larger room because they are sharing. Plus, the 19 year old isn't going to be living there forever since she is in college. Just make her take the smaller room...she is only there 3 days a week anyways. Just because she is older doesn't mean she gets first pick. I think the decision is what is more practical!

    Answer by kristinashley24 at 3:29 PM on Feb. 13, 2011

  • I agree with Obby..No One Should PICK a room..thats completely Unfair.

    and since the older child is there less often then she should get the smaller room.Shes grown and moving is less difficult on her than smaller children..believe me.

    IF the younger girls want to share a room then they should be allowed to. Simply because its more space. and You need to discuss this with your husband.

    They Younger girls GET the the bigger room and the Older child with have a smaller oen,..end of discussion.

    Answer by SweetPoison at 3:29 PM on Feb. 13, 2011

  • You said she is in college, and you also said that she is with you for 3 days a week.... which is it??

    If she is in college then the little ones get the room and you just need to politely talk to her and discuss it all. If she is at your home, perhaps a commuter college (?), then I think the bigger room is better because she will need to study and im sure she would like to host her friends in her room. Perhaps the youngers could put the beds in one of the smaller rooms and have the other room as a WAY COOL hang out place.


    Answer by sahlady at 3:31 PM on Feb. 13, 2011

  • clarification: the 19 yo commutes to college and never brings friends over

    Comment by ktthatsmeinca (original poster) at 3:38 PM on Feb. 13, 2011

  • Seriously, no one get's to pick a room unless they are paying a mortgage.

    Answer by cookingwdenay at 3:47 PM on Feb. 13, 2011

  • I agree with Obby, too. You just tell them where to sleep. We have 5 kids and 2 rooms but as soon as we got to the house the girls started fighting with their brother over who got which room but my husband had already decided and that was final.

    Answer by justanotherjen at 4:33 PM on Feb. 13, 2011

  • I mean, seriously... what is she going to do, move all of their furniture out when you're not home, and "claim" the room?

    She's a big girl, time she starts acting like one.

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 5:00 PM on Feb. 13, 2011

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