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3 Bumps

Moving to a new house -- 19 yo/8 yo/7 yo kids -- who picks their room first??

I have a 19 yo step daughter (thats with us for 3 days a week), 8 and 7 yo bio daughters -- we are moving to a new house -- there are two smaller rooms and one large room. The 19 yo has stated that the large room is hers -- the two younger ones want to share a room and the smaller rooms don't really accomodate a bunk bed or 2 twin beds.... the transition for the smaller children will be much more difficult (uprooting them from school and friends) - the teen is in college and has her friends there... dad has agreed with the teen that she gets the bigger room without discussing with me!!!!!! I am trying to come up with a creative/non-argument instigating way to diffuse this and let the little ones choose first -- they already voiced, to me, that they are mad that the 19 yo gets to pick first and picked the biggest room! Any advice????

Answer Question

Asked by ktthatsmeinca at 3:27 PM on Feb. 13, 2011 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 5 (64 Credits)
Answers (22)
  • If she doesn't live with you full time there is absolutely no reason for her to have the larger room, especially if the younger ones wish to share a room. Plus, she's an adult now, she needs to not act childish when it comes to choosing a room in a house she hardly ever lives in.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:31 PM on Feb. 13, 2011

  • YOU get to pick who is in what room!! Unless your SD is paying rent, she gets no say. You want your daughter to share the bigger room, make it so. Sit down and tell your husband this. The SD is only in the house 3 days a week and is actually old enough to be out on her own.

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 3:32 PM on Feb. 13, 2011

  • I agree with the others.

    Answer by older at 3:33 PM on Feb. 13, 2011

  • I agree with the others. I would def. not let the part-time resident get the premium room.

    I don't know how to handle that without starting a tiff - but you are right that the ones who really live there are going to have a more difficult adjustment and need to have their preference.

    Answer by angelm523 at 3:39 PM on Feb. 13, 2011

  • what they said!

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 4:03 PM on Feb. 13, 2011

  • She is old enough to be on her own. She is lucky get a room. if the little ones want to share the only solutions is they get the big room. i would set dh down and tell him that you don't appreciate him doing that with talking to you. I would set up the little ones room n the big room and dare him to touch it. lol This could cause problems but if you give in it will cause problems too. you will be resentful of big daughter and dad and the little ones will be stuck in a tiny room. You are woman, hear you rooooooaaaarrrrrrrrrr

    Answer by Dianakk at 4:51 PM on Feb. 13, 2011

  • Sharing means you get the bigger room.

    Answer by silversmom at 8:09 PM on Feb. 13, 2011

  • is the 19 year old paying for the house? if not you say who goes where. since she is soo certain she gets the big room, i woud make sure she didnt. thats just me though

    Answer by jodi205 at 8:11 PM on Feb. 13, 2011

  • There wouldn't be picking or discussing. It is your house, she doesn't live there full time, the little ones would get first pick especially since they are sharing a room.

    Answer by matthewscandi at 8:11 PM on Feb. 13, 2011

  • If it were me I would tell everyone that since the 2 little girls are sharing a room, they get the big bedroom and step daughter having a room to herself (and is only there part-time anyway) would get a smaller bedroom. If step-daughter does not like it, too bad! Being that she is 19 she is an adult and she is free to 'move out' and find her own place to live.

    Answer by MizLee at 8:21 PM on Feb. 13, 2011

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