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What is wrong with me?

I've never dealt with death well and the thought of it alone makes me want to break down and yet my grandfather died yesterday and even though he's been sick for a while, I'm honestly not all that upset. If anything, I feel worse for his wife but I haven't even felt a tear. I've never been extremely close with him but have lived near him and seen him on holidays and a few other occassions for the past 13 years. Now I've just recieved news that my great-great aunt who lives 3,000 miles away who I've only seen a handful of times in the past 13 years has a good chance of leaving us today and I'm on the verge of a breakdown. How can I accept the death I'm seeing first hand so easily and yet another that I don't have a part of breaks my heart so terribly? Is this a strage grieving process or is something mentally wrong with me?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:28 PM on Feb. 13, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • I honestly think you are in shock over these terrible losses. Not everyone grieves the same..give yourself time to get in touch with how you feel, it is a process. Hugs to you and I'm sorry for all you are going through right now.
    Heathercurlz

    Answer by Heathercurlz at 3:30 PM on Feb. 13, 2011

  • I agree about shock... I also wonder if it was your grandfather's time?

    My grandfather is in the end stages of Alzheimers. I know I will be sad when he leaves this world, but I will also be relieved and glad for him that the suffering is over... So maybe I will feel less sad/overwhelmed because of that... You said he was sick for a while, so maybe it's something like that.

    Then, the aunt you don't know as well, haven't had to watch the decline, so you are reacting more to the loss of the younger vibrant her you remember... with our grandfathers we were mourning that loss back when their health started to decline, right? Does that make sense?
    angelm523

    Answer by angelm523 at 3:36 PM on Feb. 13, 2011

  • maybe you was able to kind of push the death of your grandfather away from you so you wouldnt have to deal with it right now, but with another possible loss in your family you was reminded of it? I wouldnt worry about if something worng with you.i seriously doubt it.Everyone deals with pain and loss a different way! Sorry for your loss. If it does any good for you and if you're the person for it i ould try to talk about it with a family member you can relate to (if it is your mom,dad,sibling or aunt/uncle, cousin, you know best)
    Davina85

    Answer by Davina85 at 3:33 PM on Feb. 13, 2011

  • hugs

    mommy_jules

    Answer by mommy_jules at 3:36 PM on Feb. 13, 2011

  • Maybe because you were closer to your grandfather and you knew he was sick and everything, it's easier for you to accept it... and because you didn't know the great great aunt, it's harder to deal with? Like maybe a part of you wishes you could've known her better?
    AdensMama0308

    Answer by AdensMama0308 at 3:40 PM on Feb. 13, 2011

  • You are fine. You may be having the grief from your grandfather's death hitting you now so it's a double whammy that the other death is here. It's all normal.
    Condolences.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 3:49 PM on Feb. 13, 2011

  • When one questions one's feelings and can't sort them out--seek help. In your case, I strongly suggest a bereavement group. I think the second family death served as a reminder of the death you seemingly "made peace with." I'm not sure relatonships always determine how we will grieve and how we will show it. Sometimes, it could be the timing of the death and whatever else is going on in our lives that affect our grieving process. Seeking counsel with clergy person or finding a bereavement group could bring you some answers--and peace of mind.
    reveala

    Answer by reveala at 3:53 PM on Feb. 13, 2011