Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Forgiveness

This week I got some great input on my situation and my next question is for all you ladies who have been thru this .

Did you forgive or can you forgive you Husband if he attempted or had a sexual relationship with another women. I'm trying to work it out with my Husband but it's been very hard.
Recap: I found text messages between my Husband and a lady he works with and my thinking is if your married act like you are. He wasn't wearing his ring at work and said he wasn't married, so if he wasn't why lie about being single.

Answer Question
 
dusty1962

Asked by dusty1962 at 3:51 PM on Feb. 13, 2011 in Relationships

Level 17 (3,831 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • wow well i went through a similar situation and i forgave my husband it was very hard and i still think about it alot and its been 2 years but if you two love eachother you can work through anything and if your both willing to work through this then you should :)
    Mrs.Prine

    Answer by Mrs.Prine at 3:58 PM on Feb. 13, 2011

  • I would not do well with unfaithfulness of any kind, emotionally, mentally, much less physically there is no forgiving a betrayal of this kind for me, I would move on and live my life elsewhere and a fresh new start, and I am 61 years old and been married 38 years.
    older

    Answer by older at 4:05 PM on Feb. 13, 2011

  • Wow. Hard one. I've thought about this myself . My DH hasn't cheated that I know of, but I think it's normal to wonder how you would handle it if they did. It sounds like yours had intention too, whether he did or not, if the intention is there that still constitues a break in the trust. I think it would really depend on the situation. Whether you caught him, or if guilt led him to tell you. Whether he loved the other woman or was just giving in to lust. A lot of whether or not to forgive would rest on if I felt he could be trusted not to do it again. Also, God forbid he bring home a disease or get another woman pregnant! What a mess that could cause! Everytime you have to deal with the mother of his other child you would be challenged. Theoretically, if no child or disease came of it, & if he truely had me conviced that he was sorry & would never do it again, i think WITH TIME i would eventually forgive him.
    earthmama727

    Answer by earthmama727 at 4:07 PM on Feb. 13, 2011

  • wow! well i went through a similar situation with my DH only it was with a ex- friend that i considerd close .... we both sat down & talked about it & we both agreed WE Do Love eachother & do want to be together so we made like a pact that he was going to be truley honest with me from then on it didnt matter how painfull the truth was going to be we would be honest with one another & try to regain that Trust we used to have.... so we also agreed that absolutely No Contact with this person not even a hello .... let me tell you it's not going to be easy to forget or forgive right away but if you two are willing to work things out IT IS POSSIBLE ! & slowly Regain that trust you have lost ..... but it's really up to you & him ..... Good luck wish you the best!
    mommyof2chasmin

    Answer by mommyof2chasmin at 4:08 PM on Feb. 13, 2011

  • ~*Hugs*~... and SEEK HELP.. if this is something you you could have fixed on your own it wouldn't be broken in the frst place... there is no shame in getting outside help!

    He'll have to re-earn trust, which means you up his rear, until you feel comfortable again, and if he's unwilling to do that much... I wish you my best! *HUGS*~
    MommaClark3

    Answer by MommaClark3 at 4:08 PM on Feb. 13, 2011

  • Not to say it wouldn't leave a scar on the relationship and my heart. But I know that in times of struggle, I've been tempted myself--never went so far as to set my sights on anyone or actually had real intention, but there were times in my mind the thought had passed through of finding someone else. But becasue I love him and I know how much something like that cuts to the bone and the relationship could possibley never recover from such a hit, I would never do it. So I guess I would ask myself, and him, if he realized the impact of what he was doing? Because if he truely put thought into how it would affect you and your family, and still went ahead with it.... Well, That would be an anwser to hear, right?
    earthmama727

    Answer by earthmama727 at 4:11 PM on Feb. 13, 2011

  • Sorry I would not be able to forgive that. But for you to forgive he has to want to stop the behavior.  No change in him means not forgiveness from me.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 4:12 PM on Feb. 13, 2011

  • Wow!! That hurts!!! He is lying about being married. Be careful,unless u find out why he did it to begin with and get counseling for it,he will do it again.
    dancer

    Answer by dancer at 4:12 PM on Feb. 13, 2011

  • I would make him get tested and make sure he does not give u an STD!!!!!
    dancer

    Answer by dancer at 4:14 PM on Feb. 13, 2011

  • Forgiveness is a decision that you make, the same way loving someone is deliberate, they aren't really feelings as much as action. You can forgive if you want to and you can love if you want to. And it is ok if you are not ready. But don't give up on your marriage until you are sure. We all hit bumps.
    bekej

    Answer by bekej at 4:37 PM on Feb. 13, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN