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How can I file for a divorce without the unruly nature involved?

My husband and I have been together for a while. We have 1 son together and I have another son from a previous marriage. When we first met things were great but then he changed into this guy that I never would have fell for. Our marriage has continued to get worse over the years and now for the past year we have been back and forth left and right. I'm sick of the games and I don't want to continue doing this to my kids. Neither of us can afford to live on our own but the divorce is necessary at this point. We have been to counseling, talked to stable couples and so forth and nothing is getting better.

As of right now, he thinks things are fine and we are going to survive this yet again but my head is all over the place and I can't get the thoughts to go away. Divorce has been an option for me for a couple years now but now I am all for it and ready to file the papers.

How can I go about filing the papers without him harassing me, calling me constantly and talking suicide like he has in the past? I know it won't be the best divorce ever but I just want things done.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:58 PM on Feb. 13, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • It sounds like it doesn't matter what you do, your husband is how he is and he's going to do what he is going to do anyway. Just file. But if you are in a no-fault state, leave it at that.
    twinsplus2more

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 8:00 PM on Feb. 13, 2011

  • I am going through a situation with my ex... there is no way to relly have them take it better... I was so nice about everything and it bit me in the ass.... I ope your situation is better... breakups are dirty no matter what usually. When you love or loved someone feelings get caught and hurt. I wish you the best
    June_Mama09

    Answer by June_Mama09 at 8:05 PM on Feb. 13, 2011

  • both have to see each other in court or check a private layer luck
    GlitteribonMom

    Answer by GlitteribonMom at 8:10 PM on Feb. 13, 2011

  • Thank you! I have already been through a divorce before but he filed for it. I'm having a hard time kicking him out because we live in one state and all his family is 1800 miles away so he has nowhere to go. I honestly keep taking him back, not to really work things out, but because I feel bad for him. I am at a loss now. The last time I kicked him out he stayed in a hotel for 3 days and wouldn't leave me alone AT ALL. He would text, call and harass Facebook, lol. I just want it all over with now. He treats the kids horrible and the "problems" we have had in our marriage has been getting worse by the day. I have tried to change who I am to accommodate him but I don't want to be someone else. He hid his problems very well when we were dating and then they popped up on Valentine's Day, 11 days, before we got married. Enough is enough now.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:13 PM on Feb. 13, 2011

  • my ex is the same ...he has turned into a stalker since we broke up.... You just have to end it, it's sucks and it's hard but you will feel so much better. If you have to get a restaining order... I had to
    June_Mama09

    Answer by June_Mama09 at 8:17 PM on Feb. 13, 2011

  • Just be happy!
    coffeeyum

    Answer by coffeeyum at 8:23 PM on Feb. 13, 2011

  • I know. It's not easy, I'm just being sarcastic. In this world of buying happiness, it's all about who has the most $$$ most of the time, just have him pay the lawyer fees as much as you can, if that's possible, and then see how much he wants the divorce. if not split time, children, holidays, money, assets, etc, 50/50 and call it quits. just write it up, and charge his lawyer. Make all the statements count so that all the times are equal, and if nothing else have the lawyer ask the children (your lawyer) which parent they would like to be with more. Hope this helps.
    coffeeyum

    Answer by coffeeyum at 8:28 PM on Feb. 13, 2011

  • Although you have all the best intentions of having a civil divorce, if he has acted like that the last time you kicked him out, he will most likely do the same. And remeber, you cannot control him or his actions in any way. Don't let him threaten suicide to get back in. It's so wrong to do that. Like PP said, all breakups are hard in ine way or another, and it looks as though you know what to expect from him. So file, kick him out, change your number, block him on facebook, and get a restraining order if you have to. You have the right to be happy. You need to think about you (you already said he treats the kids badly, red flag right there for me). You only live once and you don't need to waste any more time being brought down by him. He is being selfish.
    Get out now. Don't look back. Find your own happiness, you deserve it :)
    Mme.Langley

    Answer by Mme.Langley at 1:30 AM on Feb. 14, 2011

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