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How should I go about telling him I want to be with him?

Hi, everyone. I am going to attempt to make a long story short. I have known this guy for 4 years. We met and I didn't want to be exclusive with him, due to the fact that I was about to start college and my job was taking a lot of my time as well. We had a strictly physical relationship, until he said he wanted more. We stopped talking. Then, about 8 months later, we saw each other at the gym. We started hanging out, again. then we stopped because of the same reason as the first time. We would always cuddle and hang out and talk... and occasionally he would go places with me (i.e., shopping; running errands). The next time I ran into him last year, in a rather odd place, a strip club, actually LOL I was with my friend who is a lesbian. We started hanging out and having sex AGAIN... it only happened like 2 times... and I noticed that he was acting different, like he wasn't as into me as he was before. I figured it was because of me never wanting to commit. However, at this time, I was done with school and had just started a successful career in a lab at a rather large medical practice. I felt like I was ready for a relationship, and started to develop feelings for him. It didn't work out, he said he was going through some things that would prevent us from having the relationship we once did. I had a feeling this was another woman, but I didn't want to pry. I left him alone and kpet it moving. I never told him how I was feeling about him.

So, about 2 weeks ago, I was snowed in and I was thinking about something and he popped up. I started genuinely thinking about how he is, and I don't think about other people and their well-being. This struck me as odd. I found him on Facebook, and I messaged him. I asked how he has been casually. He gave me his number off the bat and we talked that night for 2 1/2 hours! I felt so comfortable, it was like we never even stopped talking. I told him what I have been up to, he told me that he is doing well. The reason he couldn't talk to me last year was because he was getting out of a bad relationship and he didn't want to bring me into that drama. It all makes sense now. Anyway, we have hung out a few times and I am REALLY starting to have strong feelings for him. I want to talk to him ASAP about this, but I don't know how to go about it. I have no idea where to start! I want to be with him and I do NOT do well with these things. I am planning on calling him VERY SHORTLY so if anyone has any advice on how I should do this and what to say, PLEASE HELP!!!

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Queenie09

Asked by Queenie09 at 8:52 PM on Feb. 13, 2011 in Relationships

Level 5 (75 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • just tell him! Tell him something along the lines of we've know it each other for i while and i need to tell you how i feel...u had no problem in the past telling him you werent ready to commit
    suhweetness

    Answer by suhweetness at 9:01 PM on Feb. 13, 2011

  • You are right. I know what needs to be done. I just feel like he will think I am a crazy bitch LOL because all these years and we never made it more. I think I might be falling for him and I am scared that he will reject me. If he does, I feel that I will not be able to have contact with him anymore because I can't imagine just being "friends"... that is not possible because I want more. I can't even imagine my life without him now. We talk every night. I just don't know how to say this to him without scaring him away and making myself appear desperate or vulnerable.
    Queenie09

    Comment by Queenie09 (original poster) at 9:04 PM on Feb. 13, 2011

  • well just be honest with him send him an email telling him how you feel about him that you like him a lot & want to be with him or just call him & tell him that
    Ricanmami1

    Answer by Ricanmami1 at 10:44 PM on Feb. 13, 2011

  • I agree with above PP.

    Be Honest, be straight up with him.

    You have nothing to lose, if you are honest in the first place ♥♥♥♥.
    SissyAnn141

    Answer by SissyAnn141 at 12:07 AM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • Just tell him what you told us. Maybe something like..
    "we have known each other for a really long time, and it's so crazy how we just keep crossing paths. And in the past, the timing was wrong, for one reason or another. But things seem different this time. I am finally settled into my life, and it seems Ike you are in the same place...."
    Good luck my dear... Just keep telling yourself... No guts no glory!!
    You will tell him eventually, but the sooner the better.
    Mme.Langley

    Answer by Mme.Langley at 1:01 AM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • Thanks, everyone! I didn't do it, I will wait until after Valentine's Day because I don't want him to think I am only saying this because it is Valentine's Day. Interesting bit of news, though, he texted me before I could even call him and the text read, "Happy early Valentine's Day, not only are you beautiful on the outside, you are beautiful on the inside, too." Soooo sweet! I will wait til Tuesday so that he doesn't think I am a superficial freak and just thinking about this because of what day it is. I think my chances of getting the response I want are good. :)
    Queenie09

    Comment by Queenie09 (original poster) at 2:17 AM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • Just ask him if he still wants to be more, if so tell him how you feel. If not, you could still tell him or choose not to. GL!
    Austinsmom35

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 11:54 AM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • I DID IT!! I couldn't hold back this feeling anymore so I said I don't care WHAT day it is... and I went for it. He said he feels the same way and we agreed to be with each other. Best Valentine's Day I've EVER had, by far. <3
    Queenie09

    Comment by Queenie09 (original poster) at 10:35 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

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