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How to deal when dd's stepmother treats me like I'M the stepmom?

I am very grateful that dd's stepmom loves her, but it is starting to get to the point where I feel like she and my ex are trying to push me out of the picture. She calls me Mama Laura and talks to me about "her" kids, my daughter included. When I have dd, she tells me how much she misses her and wants her to come home. Um, last I checked I was the mother! How can I deal with this? I am afraid that talking to her will yield nothing except a halting of this to my face. when it is important that it stops with dd, too. While I want my daughter to be happy with her stepmom, I don't want to be treated like I'm the stepparent, even behind my back. I think there is a balance that they just don't get. They treat me like I don't love her as much when that is definitely not the case.

Any suggestions?

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Asked by mountain_laurel at 8:33 PM on Nov. 17, 2008 in General Parenting

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Answers (1)
  • I am a step mom and have had the problem of our daughter's biological mom going to her lawyer over my stepdaughter calling me Mom. This has been something our daughter has always called me. I've did not sway her in any way...I wanted her to call me what she was comfortable with. My children also have a woman in their life that is not yet their step mom but my honest feelings are these...if the children are calling their stepmom "mom" and if they are talking about their other family, its not that they love you any less...its just that they have that life as well and they are being loved. Thank God your child is being cared and loved....and not with the intent of pushing you away. They are being a family on their allowed visitation. I'm sure your child talks much about you too in their home, much like my daughter does. Blessings to you!

    Answer by Deelatte at 9:07 PM on Nov. 17, 2008

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