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I have a 3 anmost 4 year old that WILL NOT potty train...

My 3 year old (who will be 4 in April) refuses to pee pee or poo poo in the potty. He is smart enough and knows how his dad and 2 older brothers have shown him he just wont. I have tried everything! Treats, using pull ups and just putting underwear on him I really do not know what else to do.. HELP!

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Asked by AmberNicoley at 3:05 AM on Feb. 14, 2011 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 10 (442 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • Have you asked him why? If he understands the concept, he can give you an answer. My son is 4 (5 in June) and he was/is the same way. He knows, but at the same time...unless he feels gross, he doesn't care. Sometimes peer pressure works for kids, sometimes embarrassment works if everything else has failed. I know it seems cruel, but at the same time...for some it works. There's also the idea of the "Potty jail." I haven't done it, but I've heard it works for is a helpful tool. My son eventually started going on his own after so many trials. He's still having issues with wiping and other gross issues, but otherwise, he's got it down for the most part. Sticking with it and eventually he'll get to where he needs to be, but it's on "his terms." Just hang in there and do what you need to do...he'll eventually train and all will be better. G'luck to you.

    Answer by Imortlmommy at 3:17 AM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • Thanks. Ya I had thought about putting him in daycare just for that reason but it cost so much. I did ask him why and he just says I dont want to. He just doesnt care when he is wet or dirty. Im gonna keep trying tho but also in the same note I dont want to push him so we'll just take it one day at a time. Thanks for the advice

    Comment by AmberNicoley (original poster) at 3:30 AM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • I started potty training my DD at 18 months but I started her too soon. She would go sometimes to the potty but obviously she still needed to be in diapers. Aat about 2 and a half, I started her in pull ups and showed took her to the potty with me everytime I went and sat her down on the toilet. Sometimes she would go, sometimes she wouldn't. She had major issues with pooping in her pull ups and taking them off somewhere in the house and hiding them or taking them off and pottying on the carpet. I made her clean up her own messes and showed her that poo poo goes in the toilet and not in her pull up or the floor. It took a long time, about a year, before I started trying big girl panties and she had major accidents. I put her back in pull ups until she finally got the hang of feeling the urge to go. It took a month to transition from pull ups to panties. She has had a few accidents at school but nothing major.

    Answer by proudmom2510 at 3:37 AM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • my son will also be 4 in April and he is just getting the concept that it is best if he goes in the potty then he doesn't have to wear wet pants. We have just come to the conclusion that we are no longer buying pull-ups and have bought him solid white undies so that I can bleach them if he has an accident and then we bought some that have his favorite characters on them and told him he can only wear them if he stays dry all day. He still has a few accidents but so far it has worked for us during the day we still have him in pulll-ups at night but we will work on that after he if fully trained during the day. Please remember each child is different and will train at their own pace. I would suggest(if you haven't already) buy a potty chair and just have him sit on it, and take him in every hour even if he doesn't go just have him sit on the chair. That is what we did. Hope this helps

    Answer by Christmaslver68 at 10:55 AM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • Put him in underwear and don't go back to pull ups/diapers! My younger 2 were 3 1/2 when I did this. Don't worry, he'll get there!

    Answer by mompam at 12:41 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • When my son turned 3 I told him he could no longer wear pull-ups because 3 year olds wear underwear, not pull-ups. So they were GONE the day he turned 3 and he has never worn one since. Sure, he had plenty of accidents, but he really didn't like having to change out of underwear that HE picked out. He would get upset that he had to take off whichever character he had chosen for the day. Then, the last time he had an accident we were at a friends, he had an accident and I changed him into other clothes I had brought 'just in case' then, maybe an hour later, he had another accident. So I told him, I didn't have any more clothes for him, so he had to wear his wet pants home and then we would change him. I felt bad, what is a mom to do? It was either go naked or wear wet pants. He got SO upset that he had to stay in his wet pants for any length of time. That was his LAST accident. :)

    Answer by Blakesmommy0907 at 5:38 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • I figured it was a boy ~ he will come around sooner or later (I know it is hard for you in the meantime).

    Answer by tasches at 7:07 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • Sounds like he may enjoy all the fuss and attention he's getting because he's the "only one". Kids are so smart. I think they play off anything and everything they can. They are so much smarter than they lead on or we even think we know. I'm in the same boat you are, I am preparing for another year he will be rejected from vacation bible school, sunday school, and pre-school because he's 3.5 and still using diapers. : (

    Answer by LuvMyBabies912 at 3:16 PM on Feb. 15, 2011

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