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2 Bumps

My best friend is married and allowed to have extra curricular activities anyone else know of someone like this? adult content

My best friend who i have known for donkeys is happily married with 3 kids and she's allowed to have other sexual partners provided they don't bring anything nasty home i.e. diseases. I have spoken to her in length about this as i'm the only person she's told and she told me she gets them vet checked lol. Her husband is not allowed extra curricular activites only her and he's fine with that. He travels alot so i am unsure as to if he's really that loyal lol. Is this rare?

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lambchop1976

Asked by lambchop1976 at 6:06 AM on Feb. 14, 2011 in Relationships

Level 2 (7 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • I have two sets of couples friends that are in open marriages. They both seek what their partners can't give them and if that's okay with them, sure....as long as I don't get involved. I'm monogamous so I won't cross that line, but if that's how people like it...so be it. I think it's just something that they can express without having the emotional attachments...though the couples I know..."swing" either together or ...I really didn't want to get too into their conversations lol. -nervous chuckle- But hey...if it works for them...more power to them.
    Imortlmommy

    Answer by Imortlmommy at 6:39 AM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • I know a couple that had an open marriage; ultimately it ended up in divorce, but they enjoyed the "lifestyle" for about 5 years. It's not for everyone, but I'm sure there are couples who are able to manage it.
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 7:04 AM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • I would say it is rare, and the ones I have known to do this are now divorced.
    older

    Answer by older at 8:05 AM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • I've known two couples who had this kind of arrangement. One couple is now divorced. In the other case, the husband eventually became jealous of the wife's relationship with her "extracurricular" girlfriend, and shot the both of them before killing himself.
    Fistandantalus

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 8:14 AM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • My parents have had an open marriage for over 20 years. It works for them. It is not something I would do.
    ashisamom

    Answer by ashisamom at 8:25 AM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • I know a couple that has been in an open relationship for 30 years. It works great for them, but they have very little jealousy issues, and are not scared to speak up when they do become jealous. I think the reason it does not work for a lot of the open couples is because to many go in saying they have no jealousy and when they do get jealous they will not speak up about it. Than that turns ugly.

    Alanaplus3

    Answer by Alanaplus3 at 8:42 AM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • I don't know anyone personally, but I have heard of it. I think it's unusual that she is allowed, but he is not - perhaps he does anyway when he travels and they have an unspoken agreement that she is to never know about it? I just know that I couldn't do it. It would always feel like cheating and I don't think I could devote my attentions to more than one partner at a time.
    kmstockwell

    Answer by kmstockwell at 8:59 AM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • No, I don't know of anyone personally, but my dh worked w/a guy who he and his wife were swingers. Several years back he shot & killed himself.

    It's immoral and against the very principal of marriage, as most of us repeat the traditional vows, "forsaking all others" and keeping oneself only for your spouse. God made it that way for a reason. We were not designed to "share" emotionally or physically.
    etexmom

    Answer by etexmom at 9:05 AM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • I knew a girl like that once. She had a ton of 'extra curricular activities' but her DH was only into her. He was so head over heels for her it wasn't even funny, but it was like she could care less as long as he worked and paid the bills. Sad, really :(
    lovingmy4babies

    Answer by lovingmy4babies at 9:07 AM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • It's not really common as it has the potential to lead to resentment, jealousy and other issues. But if a couple is comfortable enough in their emotional bond then I don't see what's wrong with it.
    meandrphoto

    Answer by meandrphoto at 10:02 AM on Feb. 14, 2011

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