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In the fith to sixth month of an exclusive relationship can you......

In the fifth to sixth month of a relationship can you get into a rut of the same ole same ole? I feel as though all we do is have sex and watch tv. Are you kidding me and who does that crap?? I like to do stuff such as hiking etc., and sometimes it seems like what I want to do doesn't matter. Seems as though if it is something outside of the house or bedroom I want to do doesn't get done unless it is shopping. Whooptyfreakingdoo!
If I talk to him about it and tell him how I feel it seems as though he gets irritated and I don't understand why. I have been blown off for V-Day, and now I feel like I am being blown off for Florida this weekend. I feel as though I shouldn't give myself up with sex anymore, I feel like if I did that I would be using at a weapon and not something I want either. We have only been having sex for a couple of months. But I feel why should I give myself up to someone who seems less concerned with what I want, I feel as though a lot of times it is one sided now. Is this a rut??
Do couples get like this, this early in a relationship??? How to get out of what feels like a is really kinda depresssing.


Asked by AmI88 at 8:57 AM on Feb. 14, 2011 in Relationships

Level 13 (1,194 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • I'm with momofone. You need to reevaluate this relationship. If it's like this now, it's not going to get any better, or at least, not for long. You need someone that enjoys doing the same things you enjoy. Someone that wants to spend time with you outside the bedroom.

    Btw, you wouldn't be using at as a weapon. The truth is that you don't HAVE to have sex. If you don't feel like it, because of whatever reason, then don't.
    If you have the urge to have sex with him, go ahead. But don't do it just because it's expected. If you are unhappy, why have sex? Does the sex make you feel better?

    Seriously, if at this stage if the relationship he is not giving you the attention you want/need and you are not having fun, it's probably time to end it and find someone that you will click with more. Sounds like he is not a good match. There are other fish in the sea. Don't stop fishing until you find what's right for you. DO NOT SETTLE!

    Answer by Dalimonster at 9:08 AM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • This is not good IMO. Only 6mos into the relationship you guys should be having fun and ENJOYING eachother's company. I think you need to re-evaluate this relationship to determine whether you should waste anymore time on someone who doesn't take interest in your feelings.

    Answer by momofone221 at 9:00 AM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • You have really answered your own question . You should be finding out what you enjoy doing together, what you have as common interests, etc. Life is not about just watching tv and enjoying sex. Nothing wrong with those two things but you should be out doing other things together. Find out what other things you have in common and if there isn't enough then be good to yourself and find someone more fun and interesting. You deserve better than the way it is now. You also might go to and put in your interests like hiking. There are hiking clubs out there and many other groups that might be fun for you to join. hug

    Answer by elizabr at 9:06 AM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • This is one of the reasons why I think it is so very important to wait until after you are married to have sex. It sounds very much like your guy has you around for the sex, and the rest of his life is all about him, too. Had you not started having sex with him, you would have found out more quickly whether or not he was interested in doing other things with you or going to places to which you want to go. I would stop having sex with him, if I were you. You do not owe it to him nor do you owe him anything else either. "Exclusive" relationships are about really getting to know each other on a level which goes much deeper than the sexual, and it is also about learning whether or not both parties are willing to sacrifice for the joy, contentment, and good of the other. That does not appear to be the case with your friend, and I would not be hanging around asking or expecting that he might change. He is selfish and uncaring!

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:10 AM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • I agree with Dalimonster, it just doesn't seem like you two click. I know you are supposed to work at relationships, but it shouldn't all be work, and especially not just one sided either.

    Answer by mommy_jules at 9:14 AM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • I think it could happen. You have to remember that in ANY relationship, communication is the key, and you should never use affection, physical or otherwise, as a tool for getting what you want. JMO, though. Hope this helps a little!

    Answer by lovingmy4babies at 9:01 AM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • I don't try to have sex to get what i want I surly don't think not having it would help make it or not make it happen. Because I think whatever will be will be. I just feel why should I give myself up to someone who has no respect *what seems to be no respect* on my behalf. I feel as though if we make it to Florida this weekend, he won't be getting it, I kinda feel like why should he? Everything seems to kinda be a struggle at this point a lot of times. Yes we should be having fun, but I can't figure out why it feels like it does right now, if it is a rut.

    Comment by AmI88 (original poster) at 9:06 AM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • That is the thing, we have a lot incommon, it just seems he would rather sit on his a** thant to get up off the couch. is this what a couch potato is??? Because it is getting really boring.........

    Comment by AmI88 (original poster) at 9:12 AM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • We have been married for almost 15 years.. have not been in a rut yet.. Sure I guess it's possible that you can, but it doesn't just 'happen'.. We let it happen.. IMO

    Answer by ObiRenKenobi at 9:13 AM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • Sounds like he's not the right guy for you

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:29 AM on Feb. 14, 2011