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How long should you wait before introducing a boyfriend to your child(ren)?

I'm a single mom and though i'm not dating now i was just wondering if there was a rule of thumb as to how long you should wait to introduce them.

 
lashes325

Asked by lashes325 at 10:52 AM on Feb. 14, 2011 in Relationships

Level 15 (1,937 Credits)
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Answers (7)
  • It depends how you are introducing them. My kids knew or met most of the men I dated. I think it's fine for kids to know that mom dates and that doesn't have to be confusing or anything for kids, and I also think that it's a waste of my time to invest energy in a relationship with someone who isn't going to be a good fit with my family. However, I didn't introduce these men as potential stepdaddies or jump right into them spending a lot of time with my kids. The men I dated were just introduced as friends of mine, and as I have lots of friends of both genders it was never a big deal. The only man I ever brought into their lives as a father figure is my DH, their stepdad, and that was not until after we became engaged. By then we'd been dating for quite some time and we all knew each other very well before he assumed that role.
    riotgrrl

    Answer by riotgrrl at 11:20 AM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • You should only introduce when you feel that it's a LONG term relationship.

    Bringing in different guys to frequently can seriously confuse a child.

    My SO and I had already been friends for 15 years. We introduced the kids at 6 months. My DD adapted well. His DS, didn't. His son is 11 and had seen 5-6 girlfriends over the last 2 years so he was very stand-offish. SO talked with him...letting him know that I wasn't just a passing fling (using kids terms) and that we were getting married.
    So based on that, I wouldn't have even attempted to bring DD into it unless I felt that it was a for-sure relationship.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 10:59 AM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • for as long as possible imo. no set time is written in stone but it should not be rushed. if i were to bring a man around my child;;
    i have to run an extensive back ground check
    i have to meet some of his family and friends so i can get a better idea of who he is
    i need to have a few arguments and disagreements with him.. i need to see him at his worst/ how he handles himself/ is he abusive??
    lie detector test....do you or have u ever been with or fantasized about an underaged boy or girl while masturbating ??
    and many, many more. it is my responsibility to protect my child and i will do just that. prevention is better than cure.
    gwen20

    Answer by gwen20 at 11:31 AM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • I didn't introduce my kids to my then bf until we knew it was going to be a serious long term relationship. They actually met him before we started dating - he was a friend from school and was dropping off papers, but that was it. He was the only guy they ever met and now he's my husband. I never wanted them to get attached to someone who wasn't going to be around forever.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 11:13 AM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • Once my boyfriend and I decided to be exclusive and knew that we are building a future did I introduce him to my son. It was 6 months.
    rio_burb

    Answer by rio_burb at 12:07 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • SO and I agreed a long time ago, that if we were ever to split, we would wait at least 6 months out of respect. By then, you should know where the relationship is going.
    Mme.Langley

    Answer by Mme.Langley at 1:26 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • my mom waited a month. of course that was 16 years ago
    pignmonkeysmom

    Answer by pignmonkeysmom at 2:34 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

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