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Need help with my very strong willed 4 year old

My 4 year old daughter has been taking ballet since September. For the last three classes she has refused to participate and just sits on the chair and watches for the entire hour. When I ask her why she won't join in she'll give me a silly answer, something she frequently does when she doesn't want to give me a response. Just to give you some background a year ago we tried gymnastics lessons and it was a complete disaster, after about two classes she would refuse to particpate, we even tried a couple of different gyms and it was the same, eventually we took her out. She does not behave this way in preschool or in her art class. I'm just at a loss of what to do. Should I just let her quit and try again in another year or give it a while longer? What are some ways that I can encourage her to participate?

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Asked by lovemydivas at 9:31 PM on Nov. 17, 2008 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 8 (257 Credits)
Answers (3)
  • it sounds like she might not like it. do you let her choose the activities, or do you pick them?? maybe she is doing too many activities at once. Some kids, when over extended will just stop and not give you a reason. I think you should give her a rest and let her choose from a few different things and the participation will be higher.

    Answer by bubblebean at 9:41 PM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • My daughter was always enthusiastic about everything, even at a very young age. When she was about 2, I thought it might be nice to try gymnastics lessons. She refused to participate. I sent her a few times but for some reason she just didn't like it. I decided to put her in dance and piano (susiki) and she loved both. When she was in 4th or 5th grade, she wanted to try basketball so I took her to the local basketball club for kids. She hated it so much she refused to go back after one time. I just accepted that and entered her into the local swim team for kids. She really liked that and did it for a few years.

    I think children have likes and dislikes that are evident at an early age. I don't think it's right to force them or continue to encourage them when it's just not what they want to do. Keep looking for activities and have her try them until she finds one she likes.


    Answer by pugpin at 9:45 PM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • shes doesn't like it. i wouldn't make her go. she is 4. she doesn't need a schedule. her attention span is very limited. i would wait until she is 6 or 7.

    Answer by trepsica at 11:48 PM on Nov. 17, 2008

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