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I am sick of a selfish lover!

I guess I wondered if any one else would love to join in on my rant? I am sick and tired of taking care of my husbands needs and getting left by the way side. I have faced it that there are many types of sex but the type were I have an orgasm are just so far and few that is it nutty. My husband doesn't have to ask me for a bj or anything else I just love to do it.
He on the other hand is not going to put out the energy. I mean seriously it has been this way for years it is no surprise. I used to think it was b/c I was a little over weight. But really he is just to tired.
Is any one else dealing with this? Or am I totally alone? Yeah I have talked to him. He always promises to do better. Yet I am in the same boat.

Answer Question

Asked by mmmegan38 at 12:05 PM on Feb. 14, 2011 in Relationships

Level 29 (39,651 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • Just don't give him sex. If he really wants it, he needs to be the one doing most of the work.

    Answer by febmom007 at 12:09 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • Yeah that is not going to work. I love sex. And I love to be with him. I am not out for revenge.

    Comment by mmmegan38 (original poster) at 12:12 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • Have you discussed this with him?

    Answer by zebbiebug at 12:12 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • Of course he keeps on telling me he is going to change. We have been married for 25 years this is nothing new.

    Comment by mmmegan38 (original poster) at 12:14 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • You could change things up a bit and tell him that from now on if he wants it he is going to have to put forth the energy and make sure you are fully satisfied first, and THEN you will give it to him. If he does not please you, or if he does a half-assed job of it---- then nothing for him! (maybe if he is left unfulfilled he will see what it feels like and maybe it will inspire him to make the effort each time).
    good luck!!

    Answer by MizLee at 12:16 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • Nobody is too tired all the time. Sounds like he is just too lazy. And why should he bother to put forth the effort? You said it yourself, you aren't going to cut him off and you've let him get away with this for years. I was told once that if you don't like the results, change the question. What you've been doing hasn't worked and is leaving you unsatisfied. Change the question. Try to get him earlier in the evening or on a weekend, when he shouldn't be so tired. Try starting your own engine first so you are closer to the finish line when he starts. Try a trade-off - if you do this, I'll do that. Good Luck!

    Answer by hootie826 at 12:31 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • Then tell him what you just posted. That this is important to you and you have talked to him multiple times and you are just not happy with your current sex life status. That you love him and love to please him, but you would like the same satisfaction in return.

    Answer by buzymamaof3 at 2:21 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • Well Bzymamaof3 I have, countless times. I just get sad after sex. I mean seriously. Since I like the contact I will not cut him off.. Seems like a never ending circle.

    Comment by mmmegan38 (original poster) at 5:20 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

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