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Doesn't want to buy a house- EVER.

My fiancee just informed me that he NEVER wants to buy a house. We have a one year old and are planning on getting married next year. We are both in our middle 20s and I feel are in the phase of our life when we should begin to start saving up for a house. Our first kid was a suprise, and I would like the security of owning a house before we expand our family. How do I expalin to him the importance of home ownership?

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Asked by Anonymous at 9:40 PM on Nov. 17, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (14)
  • try to explain the waste in renting! really... $600+ multiplied by every month of your lives versus a mortgage for say $200K...

    if you live to be 80 years old...80X12= 960 months... 960 X $600 = $576K


    Answer by flutterfae at 9:42 PM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • see? over half a million thrown away on something that isn't even yours!

    Answer by flutterfae at 9:43 PM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • That's what I tried to rationalize with him- I told him that I see paying a mortgage as 'putting money in the bank' whereas paying rent is more of "putting money in the garbage (or someone elses bank). I didn't think it would be that hard of an argument to win... he is just very stubborn i guess:(

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:45 PM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • Does he not want more responsibility?? Try to put it on paper so he can see the difference. Also on they have some resources on telling the difference between buying and renting. get on there and show him. Say you rent forever, after being married for 30 years you have paid off someone elses investment and you in turn have nothing, zero,ziltch. And that person has a mountain of money. If you buy a house, in 30 years you have a big pile of money that you live in and if you want to down size you can and you will have some money left to save.

    Answer by bubblebean at 9:46 PM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • He could be sending you a round about message about his level of commitment. Talk to him. Find out why he feels this way.  He could be overly stressed about the general state of the economy and does not want to possibly lose something like a home.  Buying a home is great, but a big financial step. 


    Answer by Teachermom01 at 9:46 PM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • to some owning is not always the best option. With owning besides the mortgage payments, you also have taxes and insurance. Those are just the basics....if there are any issues with the house no matter how big or small they fall squarely on your shoulders. When you rent or lease(depending on the contract) the landlord is responsible for everything....even the repairs....weigh your options. Your investment can be a good one or turn out to be a bad one. You do get the tax write off with home ownership as well....but talk to a your financial advisor to look deeper into it.

    Answer by mamakirs at 9:50 PM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • yeah some people feel like the house owns you, it does kinda, otherwize you waste you money but i bet he just cant handle being more tied down with marrage men get weird for a while like "i am done with over commiting" try to tlak to him again like a year after marriage and see if his view hanges,, also he may fear what he can really afford, and doesnt wanna go over what he can spend with the cost of the wedding fresh in his mind...

    Answer by AmaliaD at 9:54 PM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • A $200K house doesn't cost $200K, it's got interest added to it so it's more like $6-700K and the financial responsibility of insurance, taxes and if anything goes wrong. many ppl choose to rent. They like the convenience of someone else taking care of things if anything breaks down or you can move more easily if you are not happy. The market is such that many ppl are losing their homes and everything they invested in it. I think he's wise to consider his options. I suggest saving money and in the future when he sees the market better or he sees that investing in land isn't so bad then he will change his mind; however, remember that some relationships go sour after they buy the first house bc one of the marital partners feels "trapped". I wouldn't push him but you planted the seed. Now save the money and find the right house. Then show him how it measures up financially to renting.

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:18 PM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • have him look at houses that are dirt cheap right now and how much the mortgage payment would be. it would come close to what he pays in rent. also looking at nice homes might get him excited about the idea of buying a piece of the american dream. it almost sounds to me like he wants a way to get out and not have to worry about what do with the house if he ever left you.

    Answer by melody77 at 10:19 PM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • I'm kinda on the same page as mamakirs. Buying or owning is not all it is cracked up to be. It is definitely ALOT more responsibility. Plus if you are a person who likes change often, (which usually is the case with young people) then renting is a better choice also. Then with old age it sometimes becomes a hinderance, usually to big for just the 2 of you & now have to deal with down sizing a home that you have collected stuff in for 50 years & sale & move at a time in life where your health & mind just aint what it use to be. I know it suppose to be the american dream, but sometime it can be a nightmare.

    Answer by meme4x at 11:11 PM on Nov. 17, 2008

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