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2 Bumps

Does your husband have a particular friend, who has to come over every Friday?

Every Friday, my husbands best friend has to come over! They drink, play cards, and blast music. I get annoyed b/c my husband drinks way to much, then gets nasty and is obnoxious. The friend always bad mouths his own wife, and I don't like this. It's not like my husband never sees him,.b/c they work together. Whenever I say oh no it'd Friday, he gets mad and tells me I should be happy he stays home, and doesn't go out. What do you think ladies, am I over reacting or do I have a right to.be upset?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:59 PM on Feb. 14, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • To me, once a week is ok to have a friend over. What's not ok is your DH being disrespectful to you; if he's being nasty and obnoxious I'd be plenty annoyed. Have you told him how you feel when he gets like that? Maybe if you talk to him about what happens when his friend comes over, not the friend coming over in itself?
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 1:01 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • I think you have a right to be upset. It would upset me too, having them act like that and the friend bad-mouthing his wife. Have you considered having Friday be your night out too? To go out or go to a friends house? Maybe that would work.
    cookincat743

    Answer by cookincat743 at 1:02 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • I have talked to him about his behavior, he says sorry, won't do it again and repeats it over! :( I tried going out but when I came back acted like more of a jerk....
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:05 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • Not anymore. That BS ended when we got engaged and moved in together. He used to go out or have friends over once a week.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 1:19 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • I would be upset too. My dh stays here with just our family on weekends - it's our family time. He actually enjoys spending time with me and the kids.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 1:20 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • I would take out my camera when he starts getting annoying and obnoxious and record him being an ass. He may not realize how much of an ass he is being... Record him
    Put away the camera, and when he has a hangover the next morning, plug it into the TV, turn it up loud, and play it for him. Maybe then he will understand why you don't like Fridays.
    Mme.Langley

    Answer by Mme.Langley at 1:21 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • How long has this been going on? I wouldn't have a problem with a friend coming over once a week, though he certainly needs to learn to control his drinking. Have you tried making your own plans on friday, such as having one of your friends come over and hang out in a different part of the house or going over a friends house?
    momof2inCT2007

    Answer by momof2inCT2007 at 1:56 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • Perhaps you need to have your girl friends over Saturday night and get drunk and see what he thinks. It is necessary for guys to hang out and banning the guys will make him feel trapped so I don't think you should just cut out his Friday nights. I don't think the frat house thing is necessary. If other wives think this behavior is ok, why are they always at your house, maybe ? I would suggest sending him off for an entire guys only long weekend, where he will probably wake up feeling terrible, do something stupid and won't be speaking to the more obnoxious ones and it will sort itself out.
    hotelmom123

    Answer by hotelmom123 at 3:47 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • If my Hubby's friends come over they usually hang out in the garage/shop while he's working.. He's not one to play cards, etc.. He's always doing something constructive. The last time someone came over and was disrespectful we made it clear they weren't welcome if they were going to be like that..

    I would make it clear to your Hubby that if he can't act the same way with his friends over as when they aren't then NO friends.. It's a matter of respect. Try wording it so he doesn't feel like you're scolding him, he may not get defensive then and try to change..
    MrsLeftlane

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 3:52 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • Is there a place they can go and be without bothering you? A den where they doors can be closed, a basement maybe? One of my friends has this problem and was worried about the kids seeing their daddy this way. So, he turned the outside shed into a nice "man den". Now, they can drink, bash wives or whatever out in the backyard and neither she nor the kids have to deal with it.
    Stacipr

    Answer by Stacipr at 3:58 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

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