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Thinking about another baby, need advice.

Hi happy valentines day to you all. I have DS who is almost 3 yrs old. Long story short, I didn't have a good pregnancy the first time and my DS has always been very needy. Terrible sleeper to this day - some medical issues that we had to deal with ....but healthy now. My DH really wants another and recently I have felt that "feeling" too about wanting another baby. What I am really worried about are all the "What ifs." I am a SHAM now and money is tight, I am afraid this could be really costly. I am also afraid of just feeling "out of control" trying to care for a preschooler and baby w/ family over an hour a way. I just want some advice for moms who been there done that on how they handled their pregnancy while caring for a toodler, money issues etc. I know I don't want an only child, and I know I would love another baby but fear keeps me from trying to start. I am 33, my DH is 35. Any advice is greatly needed!
Lauren

Answer Question
 
lauryn88

Asked by lauryn88 at 1:42 PM on Feb. 14, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 5 (79 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • This is really all I can tell you, there is NEVER a good time to have a child. some times are better than others, though. I would think about it, really look at your finances, talk to DS, and in about 6 months if that want is still there, then go for it.
    ArmyWifeAshlie

    Answer by ArmyWifeAshlie at 1:53 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • Hey i think if u want to try for another child go for it. I too had complications with my preg. but after many complications with me and my son he was born and was perfect. before I had my little boy i had a miscarriage of little boy named Austin. who i miss and love with all my heart. my thought to this is if i had been scared and given up on children after my first son i would not have gotten the greatest gift i could ever have gotten and i named him after our first son so it is like having both of my sons in one. i hope to have another one soon too and i just keep praying that god will keep us safe. i hoped this helped at all. and anyways just because u had complications with ur first preg. doesnt mean u will again. good luck and hope to hear from u soon
    brooklyndm

    Answer by brooklyndm at 1:59 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • I agree that there is never a truly good time to have a second or third child. My second was unplanned, so we went with it. And while our family lives in the same city, they might have well have been an hour away by car, plane or what have you.

    If you are truly worried about it hitting your finances maybe wait, but things like diapers and formula are not going to get any cheaper with time. Consider breastfeeding because it's free (if you don't already) and cloth diapers because they are reusable.
    balagan_imma

    Answer by balagan_imma at 2:01 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • one way that we saved money was from the moment we decided to get pregnant agian we went and bought a walmart gift card and put 20 dollars on it every week. it really adds up!
    pignmonkeysmom

    Answer by pignmonkeysmom at 2:07 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • Financially, if things are tight, Id probably wait. Healthwise, if you are in good enough shape that your dr gives you the go ahead, then why not? Just save up so much money per week for all that baby gear!
    Aqua_Jen

    Answer by Aqua_Jen at 2:22 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • I was pregnant with DS when DD was 3. I was SICK. I had hyperemesis again, and took a 6 week leave of absence from work during my first trimester. I was home, sick, with a 3 YO a LOT. I made it through. I rested, and tended to my DD as best I could. I even lost my job while being pregnant (laid off teacher). He was born 2 weeks before my school year ended, and I have been home ever since. Money is tighter, but we make it work. He's been WORTH it of course. :)

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:35 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • I have 4 kids, 5 and under, and another child is ALWAYS a blessing. I know lots of large families with a DS sibling, and they ALL say he/she is the biggest blessing to the family. Another couple, both medical docs, had #1 DS and had #2 right away to help the DS develop and learn right along side the next sibling. You will be rewarded! Follow your gut!!
    Hope614

    Answer by Hope614 at 4:48 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • I have a 3 year old son and am currently pregnant. I DO have a part time job which helps a lot. I am the one that always wanted two kids, only because I was an only child until my mom re-married when I was 8. I understand feeling 'out of control' with no one around to help. My husband is in the military, our closest family is 6 hours away. It is worse when he is gone for months and I get NO break. I have never been able to depend on family to help me out, but somehow I make it work. I am nervous to have the second baby, but my son is such a helper now, I think he will help out a lot once the baby comes. I have started giving him small chores and I ask him to do more things himself, mostly because he doesn't want any help anyway! :) But if you wait until you are 'ready' to have another baby, you may never get there.
    Blakesmommy0907

    Answer by Blakesmommy0907 at 6:49 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

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