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How do you tell people you have just had a miscarriage?

I'm doing alright but I would love to tell people so I can stop receiving all the congratulations. I just don't know how to respond when people are so excited for us and don't know we have suffered a loss. My husband was so excited to be a daddy again. He just plain doesn't want to tell people or even talk about how to tell people yet. He has been working so much that he has not had more than a few hours to process it while I'm stuck at home running it over in my head.

 
mrs.coop

Asked by mrs.coop at 2:13 PM on Feb. 14, 2011 in Relationships

Level 18 (5,875 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • I would just say "I am sorry to say that we have had a miscarriage". Leave it at that. No need to give details unless you want to. I would hope that everyone who loves you will comfort you both.

    My sister lost her first pregnancy and a year and a half later my beautiful niece was born.

    I hope you will experience a new pregnancy when YOU and husband are ready. God Bless you and yours.
    AdrianaS

    Answer by AdrianaS at 2:21 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • There is no easy way to tell anyone. We just came right out and said it.
    PhoenixsMommy10

    Answer by PhoenixsMommy10 at 2:16 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • Tell your closest friends. When my best friend had her miscarriage he sent me a text message asking me to call. I did call and she told me what had happened. I immediately dropped what I was doing to go to her side. She told everyone close the same way.

    Btw, I'm so sorry!
    Dalimonster

    Answer by Dalimonster at 2:17 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • It is so hard. I went through it too. I had my mother tell people. It's why I didn't tell anyone when I was pregnant again until 5 months. It's a terrible thing to go through. Good luck to you!
    mompam

    Answer by mompam at 2:17 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • to be honest if you have facebook, email etc. i would post it there. just something like "please be in prayer for my family as we suffer the loss of our sweet unborn baby". word would spread and it might help a lot
    pignmonkeysmom

    Answer by pignmonkeysmom at 2:21 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • When my SIL had one...the boyfriend did it for her and another family member as well. i would say use someone who is willing to do it for you so you dont have to face all the "i'm sorry's" and the questions and all.
    americansugar80

    Answer by americansugar80 at 2:17 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • Gosh I'm sorry to hear that. Fortunately(or unfortunately too) I didn't have to tell my family and friends cause I miscarried while visiting them. I would just announce it at the next dinner party or call everyone individually.
    Imogine

    Answer by Imogine at 2:24 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • I would ask someone to help you spread the word so that you don't have to repeat yourself over and over, or send out a mass email explaining what you wish to share and if you need some time to grieve in privacy you can express that as well. To me, that would be much easier than having to call everyone in my family and all of my friends. Just ask a trusted family member or close friends to let people know. There will inevitably be those people who do not hear the news and who you bump into and they will ask about the pregnancy, I think it's best to just have a planned answer to give at that time just stating whatever you are comfortable in saying. My heart goes out to you, this is a tough situation to be in. You are in my thoughts.
    MaryMW

    Answer by MaryMW at 2:28 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • My daughter didn't tell people I found out nine or ten years later. they were in Texas eight hours away withe his parents. His Mother knew but that was it. I was really hurt she never said anything and hurt for her more so. I would suggest telling someone close to you and allowing them to share with others. You will feel relief surely that its not a secret.
    Blessings
    Pidgenhawk

    Answer by Pidgenhawk at 2:29 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • I have told a select few close friends. The real problem comes from the fact that my husband has not been able to stop and think about it yet. I'd rather just post it for the world to see and get over it already but he is not ready to let the news out and I have to respect that.
    mrs.coop

    Comment by mrs.coop (original poster) at 2:37 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

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