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Is it wrong to say shut up to your kid

when they keep pushing and pushing far past the being nice point.

I told them several times we're not getting the toy. He made a choice on which one he wanted and then proceeded to bellyache about getting both. He didn't get the 2nd one, he used his own money.

But he wouldn't stop obsessing over it to the point I got mad and said "Would you shut up about it now? Enough already!"

Was that bad? He just wont stop these obsessive behaviors until someone gets mads at him, even then sometimes he'll have a tantrum in response, over something relatively small most of the time.

He has Autism. Is physically 12 but acts 8-ish. We do not spoil him, but he sure acts like it sometimes.


Asked by Zoeyis at 2:25 PM on Feb. 14, 2011 in General Parenting

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Answers (16)
  • You know Zoeyis even though it doesn't sound nice to say but I will admit I do say it to my kids only bc I am fed up with their crap I am tired of saying to hush up or be quiet nicely but when I do say shut up it works but now as times gone by they've gotten used to me saying this so in the long run it loses it's effect :/ So right or wrong whatever works I've learned to walk away or ignore them even though I can still hear them...I am thinking about wearing ear buds in my own house that way I can be in my own little to ignore my dh as well when he acts GL

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 3:04 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • yea i dont think shut up is the best word there are so many other. if it was me i would have told him u know what i already told u enough times and u need to Stop asking ur making me upset and i dont like it so please thats enough! U should use NICE words to express ur feeling not get mad and yell mean ones. Kids are great at pushing buttons but i think shut up is just as bad as cussing at ur child

    Answer by Cherriemama831 at 2:35 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • I don't say it to my kids. "Hush" "be quiet" yes, but never shut up. It just sounds ugly to me and I don't allow my kids to say it, so why would I say it to them? My 13 yo has autism and he pick up certain phrases we say and repeats them over and over. I would be embarrassed if that was ever one of the phrases he picked up to use all the time.

    Answer by missanc at 2:28 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • honestly i think it is wrong. i'm not saying i havent been tempted to, and since we've grown up saying it to everyone constantly it just feels like the first response when you get mad. but i think it's wrong. there are other words to express your anger at his behavior, so just pretend those words dont exist.

    Answer by Mrs.L.Mita at 2:28 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • Maybe not the best reaction, but believe me everyone reaches that point sometimes, autistic child or not!

    Next time tell him if he can't stop the whining you will give him some chores. That would stop my child in his tracks...the dreaded house chores! LOL

    Answer by spottedpony at 2:29 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • In my house shut up is a bad word. I dont think there is ever a need to tell anyone to shut up. Its bad manners in my book.

    Answer by gemgem at 2:35 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • Lol, everyone here thinks shut up is such a bad word. Maybe it's the way I use it, I usually don't just scream out "SHUT UP!" But I use those words all the time, with adults and children. And I don't curse (around those same adults and kids) so it's not like I just have foul language. Maybe it's a regional thing.

    Answer by Candi1024 at 2:44 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • You are human. It slipped out. It happens. Don't be so hard on yourself. It's hard to control every word when you loose your temper.

    Answer by mompam at 2:30 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • It's probably not the most productive way to handle the situation, but it's totally understandable. Don't feel bad. I wish I had a good suggestion of how to handle this kind of situation... but I don't. Anyone else?

    Answer by Sebbiemama at 2:30 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

  • I think it depends - all parents think differently in this area... I think it sounds terrible however... I still told my son to SHUT UP before in the head of an extended crying tantrum when he was little.. we all just do the best we can as parents.. we can't ALL be perfect and do and say the best and right things every time - My son is 3 and I get an hourly reminder of that lately.. I hate that I have to yell to get him to understand I'm upset by the situation - its ME who has to learn to reword and change how I approach hard trying situations but in no means does that mean I won't make constant mistakes along the way..

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 2:31 PM on Feb. 14, 2011